Monday, December 26, 2005

Happy Holidays? NO..Merry F-ing Christmas people!

I don't get it..what's so offensive about wishing someone Merry Christmas? If someone came up to me and said.."Happy Chanukah!"..I'd just go..."Right back atcha and Merry Christmas!" I might as well wish them Happy Kwanzaa too. The point is..I wouldn't care what they said to me...I'd just be pleased that they were wishing me a happy SOMETHING, you know? Even if they just wished me a happy fall on the ice, or a happy trip down the stairs..or even a happy least they were thoughtful enough to wish me a happy one. I can't stand cards that read Happy Holidays or Seasons Greetings..I'll go out of my way and shop for a week to find ones that say Merry Christmas..just to prove a point.

I'm not ashamed of what I celebrate and I'm not offended if people don't celebrate what I do. I doubt the majority of people even realize that Dec. 25th isn't even Jesus' actual birthday...It's just when we choose to celebrate it. No one knows when his actual birthday is..they picked 12/25 back in the 1800's. There was reasoning behind that date, but I can't think of what it is at the moment. Maybe Jeff will know..I'll have to ask him..he's awesome at remembering that kind of stuff. And Kwanzaa is a man made holiday that started in the 60's. Maybe we should just follow George Costanza's dad off of Seinfeld and celebrate Festivus. Decorate the Festivus pole and sit around the dinner table insulting family. Then 5 years from now we can sit around remembering holidays past and say.."You remember the year grandma broke her hip after doing a striptease around the Festivus Pole? Ah..those were the days."

Mmmkay..I think I may have had too much sugar. Anyhow..I hope everyone had an awsome Christmas or Chanukah..or Kwanzaa..or Festivus...whatever. Mine rocked! The next thing you know, they'll be saying we can't wish people a Happy New Year b/c it's offensive to those who don't believe each year is new..or something equally as stupid. Ok..going to go before I start spouting off again!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

It's a Christmas MIRACLE!!!!!

Do you realize what day it is? Almost 2 months since my last post. I suck. I haven't had any motivation to do anything lately. I'm lucky everyone got Christmas presents at all. We got Kelly a cashmere sweater, a dog cookie making kit, a "Truly Me" perfume sample and a jellybean pooping reindeer. Don't ask. You'd have to see it to truly appreciate it. Nothing says Happy Birthday Jesus like eating a cola jellybean out of the ass of a plastic reindeer. Tis the season, you know. Everyone liked their gifts, but my Dad's was the best! A true, for real, Christmas Miracle.

Last week, I was cleaning out the closet in my old bedroom and planning to bring all that old junk of mine back home. Wait...let me go back a bit....

Dad had rheumatic fever when he was 12 and couldn't get out of bed for 3 months. The only thing he could do to occupy his time was collect baseball cards. His dad, my grandfather, would come home everyday and give him a new pack of cards. He's kept them in an old shoebox since then. They're all careworn but in basically good shape. About a year and a half ago, Mom had decided to have her closet professionally done for storage purposes. She cleaned it out and made a Goodwill pile and then put everything back once the closet was done. Dad had his old shoebox full of baseball cards in there and right after she took all the junk to goodwill, he couldn't find his shoebox. They tore the house apart looking for it and when they turned up empty handed, they assumed she'd accidently taken it to Goodwill w/ all the other stuff. Dad said he was sick to his stomach over the loss of it. That was his childhood in a box..and also included the only pics in existence of my dad as a child. My mom felt absolutely horrible and even I grieved for my dad's loss.

So anyway, I was cleaning out junk and moved a stack of Kelly's college books off the bottom shelf to put on the top shelf where all my stuff had been. I looked behind where the books had been and I'll be damned if Dad's shoebox wasn't sitting right there at the back of that shelf covered and surrounded by other junk. I got sooo excited that I ran and told mom about it and we decided to give it to him for Christmas. I was going to wrap the whole box but Mom said he would recognize it, so we just wrapped one card that she thought he would recognize. Ernie Banks' rookie card. She had wanted him to open it during breakfast at the restaurant, but I told her I wanted him to do it at home so that after he opened it, I could just hand him the whole that's what we did.

When dad opened it and saw the card, he smiled and said it was just like one he used to have in his collection. Before he was finished speaking, I held the box out and was waiting for him to notice it. He turned and saw it and never even finished talking. He took it from me, opened the lid and just stared..he was totally speechless and then just started crying. Not just tear up..but cried..bawled. Me, mom and Kelly had already gotten a little choked up at his silence and when he started crying, so did we. My dad, one of the most controlled men in the world who never really shows serious emotion, was crying. The only other time I saw him cry like that was the morning I was moving to NC to move in with and marry Jeff. So, in my 29 years, I've seen him cry twice and tear up once...that was when I knocked out my front teeth.

I know Dad's tears were happy ones, but it was just such an emotional moment, I'll never forget it and I don't think we can ever top that gift. We even got it on video..although we never expected that reaction. Speaking of Dad, I need to go call him and my mom to wish them Merry Christmas since I didn't get to spend it with them. I'm here at work..surrounded by a deafening silence. this line of work, silence is good..that means no one is hurt. My next post will be about how wonderful and truly amazing my husband is. His gifts were AWESOME. I'm so lucky to have anyway...Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Ok, so I'm a slacker

I know, i's been awhile since I've updated..but I've been busy. Lots of work mostly. I've also been having strange dreams that I can't figure out. I didn't bother writing them down b/c I got interupted by the dogs needing to go out to pee and it didn't make sense b/c I didn't get to finish. Most have involved death and people from my past. I think that's b/c my high school reunion is coming up and because Dad saved a news article for me about James and his wife and 2 kids who live in Maryland. I guess I hope he's happy, but I still feel a bit of a loss and I'm not sure why. I'm happy w/ Jeff and love him on a level I never thought possible, so I don't know why James having a family bothers me. No closure I guess..who knows.

Still not pregnant, so I'm not sure what to do now. I don't want to take Clomid anymore and Jeff and I don't have sex often I have no idea how to fix that. I guess we'll just wing it and hope for the best. I've already picked out baby names and how I'm doing the nursery and I'm afraid to tell anyone my names for fear that they'll steal them and they won't be original anymore.

I decided not to go to my high school reunion b/c of the cost. It's too expensive for 4 hours of socializing w/ people I was never friends w/. I'd rather hang out and watch the VT/UNC game that night anyway. Speaking of the Hokies...they lost their first game this season to Miami. final score was 27-7. Ugh..I was so disgusted. They basically just bent over and took it up the butt. That loss knocks them out of the national championship. If they can recover this loss and come back and beat UVA and UNC, they still have a shot at the ACC I'm really reallly hoping!!

I was supposed to go to Myrtle Beach this weekend to see Kelly since our birthday's are Friday and Saturday, but she said she planned on working the whole weekend to make up hours for the days she's taking off for Thanksgiving. Oh well. The up side is that I get to stay home and have lots of birthday sex w/ Jeff. Woo hoo!!

Um..what else....?? Oh, Grandma & Grandpa moved into their new apartment this past weekend. Dad said Grandpa seemed to be settling in ok but Grandma isn't handling it so well. She was looking for her suitcase so she could pack and go home....told Grandpa she was leaving. I hope she doesn't get turned around and go in the wrong apt. over there. Their plan right now is to hold on to the house and sell it in the spring if the apt. works out. I have a feeling they won't be happy and will want to move back, but I hope that's not the case.

I guess that's it for now...I'll try to update more often and not be such a slacker!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Past few weeks...

I'm still not pregnant, I've been having car problems, Patches was sick, Jeff's discouraged w/ me and Hannah's old boyfriend died on Sept. 24th. It hasn't been a great month. I did get my car fixed though, but it cost me $227 for an oil change, front brake work, alignment and having a tire patched. Patches was overdue for rabies so I took her in and they found bruises/lesions on her belly and wanted to do a lot of blood work, so I had to take her back the next week to get the rest of her ended up being fairly expensive. They also wanted to put her on antibiotics and do another $100 blood test, but they bruises were from tick bites and were gone the next day, so I didn't worry about it since she was acting normal.

Hannah called me the afternoon of the 24th to tell me that JA passed away. In a quick summary: JA had been battling a cancerous brain tumor for 4 years and finally couldn't fight it anymore. She was reallllly upset since they used to date/live together. He did her wrong so it ended the relationship. Whatever wrong's he did in life, he more than made up for in suffering over the past 4 years. I'll write a separate post in reference to all this because it's pretty involved.

This past weekend, I went to Roanoke to attend the Kitts family reunion at The Homeplace restaurant. Jeff stayed home to do homework since we're going up again for a football game this weekend. We ended up having 13 people, which means we were missing about 21 family members. My Aunt Angie informed me that taking clomid in your younger years, raises your risk for breast cancer later on by about 30%, so I've decided not to take it anymore. I already have other risk factors and don't need to add on to it. I need to go back to the Dr. and figure out something else to do or take. I'm sick of feeling like the Dr.'s don't give a damn about me and don't really want to help me. They've never even checked to see if my tubes are blocked. I'm tired of being jerked around...I want to be helped dammit!!!

Jeff and I are both really discouraged at this point and I think feel like we should give up, but neither of us really want to do that either. I feel like Jeff's disinterest in sex is b/c I haven't been able to get pregnant, so he feels like he shouldn't even bother. I'm discouraged too, but that doesn't make me want him any less. I'm so afraid he'll leave me if I can't get pregnant. I feel like I'm a failure and can't make him happy. It's not about just having a's about having HIS baby. I honestly feel like we owe it to the world to have a child because I feel like he/she will do great things. I'm not sure what kinds of great things..but I just feel like they'll be important to the world someday. They could become a great world leader..or just come up with a longer lasting lightbulb, I don't know..but I can't wait to find out! I'm just losing hope and that's dangerous. I don't know what else to do. Maybe I need to have reproductive therapy and talk to someone about how to deal with all these feelings. Form a support group or something.

Anyway, that's all that's really been running through my head recently. Work still that's nothing new and I guess there's nothing else to report!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

JA:1977- 9/24/2005

Revised 3/17/2008

JA passed away Sept. 24th from a cancerous brain tumor he's been fighting since 2001. He just couldn't fight it anymore after numerous surgeries and chemo treatments. J and I graduated together from Northside and used to hang out because he was dating my best friend H. They dated for about 4 years and broke up back in late 1997. He'd cheated on her with the girl that later became his first wife. There's more involved, but out of respect for H's privacy, I won't repeat it here. She was completely devastated because she'd trusted him and I thought I'd never be able to forgive him. I was angry with him for the longest time for what he did to her. She has to live with the knowledge of what he did everyday for the rest of her life.

When I heard that he died, part of me was upset and another part was still bitter over what he did to H. Then I started thinking...with all the suffering he's done since the tumor was discovered, he's more than made up for any mistakes he ever made...especially since he somehow remained high spirited through all of it. The way someone deals with a tragedy speaks volumes about a person, regardless of the mistakes they made. Nine months after he married the girl he cheated on H with, it's rumored that she cheated on him with some married man and they divorced. I think that was in 2000. Then he met a girl who would become his 2nd wife. While he was with her visiting her family in Reston, he had a seizure and they thought it was due to his diabetes, but that's when they discovered the tumor. They still got married and she stuck by his side through all of it. He's never had any children, but they would've been really cute. He was a volunteer EMT/Firefighter for Roanoke County Masons Cove and worked at Timber Truss for awhile.

Overall, he was a very generous person who always had a positive outlook on things and went out of his way to help others. When H was working up at Mountain View Italian Kitchen, he would come pick me up and take me up there for lunch to see her since I hardly ever got to because I was away at college for most of the year. I remember the summer before my freshman year of college, we were going to go up to Busch Gardens with H's aunt, uncle and cousin Chris. We stayed the night at J's parents house and left early the next morning. Most of the day there it was J and I riding the rides together since H doesn't like roller coasters. On the trip back, H's aunt's SUV blew a tire so we shined the headlights of our car on it to change it. When we got the spare on, it was too big for the wheelwell so we had to go really slow. Then b/c we left the headlights on, our car battery died and we had to jump it. Then, it started raining and we were hydroplaning all over the place...mind you..all this happened at about 2am on I81. Right before J dropped me off, the gas light came on and he almost ran out of gas. It was such a wild and fun trip.

I even remember being jealous of H b/c she was dating him. He was very handsome and a lot of fun to be around. When their relationship was was really good and it was the happiest I have ever seen her. I don't think she ever completely bounced back to her old self after they broke up. She's been more subdued since then..more melancholy. She used to throw parties all the time and was always laughing and surrounded by tons of people. After they broke up, all that changed. Hmm..I don't even know when the happiest I've ever been is. When I was dating Steve..that was the most fun I ever had, but I don't know if I would label it the happiest. I was experiencing my first taste of freedom and I was surrounded by a huge group of friends! lol.

I know H misses J and even with the sadness he caused her, he also made her extremely happy at times. I don't think she'll ever get over it, but I know J was sorry for what he did. We did run into each other a few times and chat while his cancer was in remission, but we both avoided the issue of what happened with H. He even married someone who looks a lot like H in my I'm sure that was just a coincidence b/c you can't help what kind of looks your attracted to. They're still different people. Anyway, I'm glad J can be at peace now and not have to experience any more pain. I hope his family can adapt to life w/o him. It was also rumored that his family was spending all his fundraising money on new furniture, new trucks, tvs, etc. I was also told that his mom didn't want his wife K living in the house they were building since she paid for it, but it could also be that K didn't want to live there without him...who knows the true story..I've heard too many versions of it. If the rumors are true, I also hope J knows what they're up to.

I haven't seen J in a long time, but a part of me will miss him. A part of me also regrets that I never got to say goodbye...or tell him that I forgive him for what he did to H. I hope he knows that I do forgive him and that I'm so very very sorry for all that he had to go through. That kind of stuff should only happen to bad people, not people like J...but life isn't fair, is it?

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Fun but windy weekend...and a small tragedy

I went to see Kelly this weekend and really needed to spend the time with her. I miss her so much. On my way down there Friday, I got to Conway and this little dog tried to run out in front of my car. She jumped back at the last second and I watched her in my rearview mirror. I just knew she was going to get hit...she made it across 3.5 of the 5 lanes when an SUV clipped her and send her tumbling across the road. I was mortified. I turned the car around and went back to check on her and noticed 2 other people were out with her. I thought she was dead for sure b/c she wasn't moving...but she was still alive. One woman was palpating her to check for injuries, but there was no blood and the dog made no yelp of pain at all. I called 911 to see if they sent out animal control or if there was an emergency vet close by, but one woman said she knew a vet and would take her to be seen. She was soaking wet from where she had landed in a pond. I'm not sure if she made it there on her own or what. I just felt horrible..started crying. Cute little black stray who was just trying to make it back across the street to her friends. I wish I knew what happened to her...I need some kind of closure. The people who hit her didn't even stop. How cruel!

Anyway, we ate at Salsarita's Friday night and then Saturday morning we got our stuff together and headed out to the marina to catch the boat to Bird Island. We ended up on Andy's boat, so we got there ahead of the big boat that they rented. It was really windy b/c of Hurricane Ophelia, so it was a little chilly. We set up our chairs and ended up having to move them 7 times b/c the tide kept coming in. For lunch, we had sandwiches but couldn't really eat them b/c the wind was so strong that every bite was covered in sand. Shortly after that, we had to cut the trip early b/c the tide had come so far in, there was no beach left. We took naps after we got back, took showers and then had dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. Sunday, we went to the mall so I could get some more Proactiv and only went to a couple more places and came back to the apt. so I could make dinner.

Monday, I hung out until lunch time and ate lunch w/ Kelly when she came home from work. I left right after that. That was it. Nothing else really happened. It was awesome spending time with her though. I wish I could do it more often and I need to get down there and see her more. I know she's lonely and I hate that she doesn't have any friends down there to hang out w/. She's looking for jobs around Roanoke and can't wait to get moved back up there. I hope she finds something!!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Hurricane Katrina Causes Gas Prices to Soar...

Holy crap...I paid $2.75 per gallon last night when I filled up. Two hours later, the same station was $3.10. Several stations have been guilty of price gouging b/c NC is under a gas shortage. Katrina hit the coast of Louisiana and Mississippi and devistated New Orleans and Gulfport. The estimate thousands dead, there's no power, no water, no food and the looters are causing a huge problem. There's people even shooting at the rescue helicopters. People are dying in the shelters b/c there's no food or water. The water's contaminated and 80% of New Orleans is under water. People don't even have anywhere to use the restroom and they're having to move people out of the hospitals to the triangle and other areas b/c of it. There was even a sniper at a hospital shooting at the building. What the hell is wrong w/ people!?!

NC's problems is that 90% of our gasoline comes from the Gulf pipelines, and they have no power, so we have no way to get more gasoline pumped in. There's something like 9 refineries down there that are without power or damaged. Also, a lot of the oil rigs were damaged in the gas prices just shot straight up. In Sanford, 2 stations across the street from each other went from $2.45 to $2.80 overnight. I should have gotten it at 2.45 before the hurricane hit, but I didn't even think about it. I'm so pissed off! Why don't these refineries have nuclear generators to run them when the power's out?? Is it just so they can have a reason to jack up oil prices? They said it would probably hit $5 a gallon before it starts coming back down..and I know that's just so that when they lower it to $3, we'll think that's cheap. What the fuck ever dude.

Another think that chaps my ass is that the prices went up immediately after the hurricane. What we're using now was made weeks ago at a cheaper we shouldn't be having to pay higher prices on that..they're just doing it b/c they know we need it and they have us by the throat. Brooke and I are going to start commuting and just suck up the 2 hours OT every week so our hours can be the same. On the weeks we work w/ Bonnie, we can commute w/ her too. There's so many of us in the same area, it's a shame our hours or shifts aren't the same..we could save a LOT of money..if there were 4 of us on the same shift, each of us would only have to drive once a week.

I'm really considering getting a smaller car, like another Civic, or a Jetta TDI. Diesel is just as expensive, but the gas mileage is much better and they're meant for people who drive long distances. Since I drive 52 miles just to and from work, I think I qualify. My Nissan will need some work before I sell it though, and I don't think I can afford that right now. I do get my raise on my 2nd check this month, and it'll be back payed to July 1st...but it still won't be a whole lot.

Anyway, I'll update again when there's more..I have to quit talking about this now or I'll get angry again..

Well, vacation is over and life begins again..

Vacation went by reallly fast...I'm not sure why. The girls were terrors the whole week and Mason was an angel. He only cried when the other 2 were in trouble or we took his food away so he would stop playing w/ it. Jeff and I tried to get away from them as much as possible. Tuesday, we went shopping and Hailey wanted some shoes b/c the ones she had were too big..but she wanted some that would be just as uncomfortable as the ones she was wearing, so Misty said no. Hailey pouted and threw a fit so I went ahead and got a pair so that Misty and I could take advantage of the buy 1, get one half off deal. About that time, Hailey comes up w/ the ones she wants and Misty said no, she'd had her chance and missed it.

As soon as we left the store, Hailey goes up to her dad and says, "You're going to let me have those shoes." Ronnie told her she needed to remember who she was talking to and Hailey then proceded to block his path and say, "I'm not moving until you let me have those shoes." I think he scolded her or spanked her or something b/c she did nothing but pout the rest of the time. Then she was irritating Jeff in the car and after he told her to stop 10 times and she didn't, he smacked her...and she still kept doing it. She is so desperate for attention that she doesn't care what kind it is. She's always asking if she can help, and I let her when I can, but a lot of times it's just faster for me to go ahead and do it. She broke the dvd player and lied about it, never listened, fussed, stomped around and pouted and always tried to be the center of attention. Every time I'd try to take a picture or video of Mason, she was always trying to get in it. It just got really annoying to the point where I'm glad we're not going w/ them next year.

I got to spend some time w/ Kelly and got some sun and had a blast w/ Jeff in the ocean. It was really great to spend time w/ him...not to mention that the sex was phenominal!! I needed to get away from work...and I didn't even watch the news while I was there. Jeff and I also went geo-caching on the island. That was fun!! If you're not familiar w/ it, you use a GPS and go on the internet to get the coordinates. You go to that coordinate and either find the "treasure" or another set of coordinates. When you find the "treasure", it's a box full of trinkets left by others who have found it. There's a log for you to sign saying that you've been there and then you take an item from the box and leave one in it's place. We got photos of the whole event and I can't wait to go on another one. We left a pen and then took a nose It was just so funny that it seemed like something we should take.

We shopped a lot more than I'm sure we should have, but I didn't get much that wasn't already on my list of stuff I had been looking at anyway. I didn't even get everything that was on my list, so it balanced out. All in all, it was a good vacation and I had fun despite the kids being irritating. Next year, Jeff and I are hoping to take a 5 yr. anniversary trip to somewhere really nice. Cough, Cayman Islands, cough.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

More Beach Drama

First, let me start by saying that Jeff made a DVD of last year's beach trip and it turned out awesome!! It has a menu screen and chapters and rocked!! There's even an opening music sequence! Yeah Jeff! You rock, Gorgeous!

Alright...if you'll remember, we had money issues earlier and agreed that they would pay for all the groceries since they owed us money anyway. Then Jeff asked if it was ok for Misti's friend Ginger and her kids to come since she found her husband cheating on her. Misti thought it'd be a nice way to get her mind off her troubles. I wasn't thrilled about it, but I didn't really care as long as it didn't mess up our vacation. I needed to know how much lasagna to make, so I called to ask if she was definately coming and they didn't know. I was told to make enough in case they did come. Um, ricotta is like..$4 for one big jar. I was irritated but never said anything.

Yesterday, I find out that Ginger isn't coming b/c she wanted to bring her cheating husband with her, even though she caught him cheating on her...again..last week. We said no. That made me quite happy, but then I was told that Ronnie's parents would be coming. Um..ok..thanks for asking us first. I mean, we only paid for half the house, so why should we be told if other people are coming? What if I'd just been like.."Oh, I invited my parents to come down..hope you don't mind." ?? It would've pissed them off and been totally disrespectful. They wouldn't appreciate strangers imposing on their vacation and neither do I. It's not that I don't like his parents..they're very nice and wonderful people...but even if it was The Pope, I still would've been mad that I wasn't asked beforehand.

Misti says she asked them because his mom is having heart surgery the week after next and is afraid she won't make it b/c she "doesn't have the will to live". Plus, she didn't think they'd actually go. His mom thinks she's going to die basically and wanted to spend as much time w/ the kids as possible. It's a simple heart cath..she won't die. So, how can I tell a woman who's having heart surgery that I'd rather them not be there? I can't. So I just have to get over it.

Also, Misti said she'd probably cook one night and help out with groceries. The only reason that makes me mad is b/c it gets them out of paying us the debt they owe us. It's not about the's the principle of not taking the responsibility of paying the debt. Dad said that as long as I get to eat free for a week, that I shouldn't care who paid for it...and his parents are only staying till Tuesday morning. It's just that every year I feel like this is their vacation and we're just tagging along. I paid for half that damn house and it's our vacation too, we should be allowed to invite whoever the hell we please.

I feel bad b/c Jeff is stuck in the middle, but I don't know what to do. I've said it before and I'll state it again now for the record....I AM NOT GOING TO THE BEACH WITH THEM AGAIN NEXT YEAR. The first year, we only had to pay for 1/3 of the groceries, but we had to stay in a bedroom w/ Justin. Misti said before we went that she'd like us to leave midweek so they could have "family time" and then changed the plans without telling Justin got to stay there the whole week and we went to a shitty hotel for 3 nights. Oh..and while we were there...had to sleep on the floor one night b/c Misti's mom and her boyfriend needed the bedroom for the night before they left.

The 2nd year..last year..wasn't too bad, but we still had to pay 1/3 of the groceries even though there's 5 of them and only 2 of us. Justin's the one who got really screwed b/c he paid 1/3 and it was just him. This year...sigh...well, just read the posts. The whole thing is stressing me out and no one should be stressing over vacation...they should be looking forward to it. Part of me is glad just to get the hell away from here. Another part is just dreading to go. If anything pisses me off this week, I'm just leaving and going down to Kelly's to stay for the rest of the week. I only get 1 vacation a year and I want to enjoy it...especially since I paid for it.

Sigh...I just have too much drama already in my life...I don't need to deal with any more.

Yawwnnn...Wonderful but tiring weekend

Wow....I had a great weekend! I feel like I got so much accomplished! Saturday we mowed the lawn and got the weedeater out to straighten things up. I had some Jeff and I had to switch places b/c I got really fed up w/ the weedeater. I kept losing the line. Anyway...the yard looks really nice.

Sunday, Jeff and I got up at 5am, loaded all our junk in the trunk and headed out to the Raleigh Fairgrounds for the flea market. We paid our $18, set up all our stuff and waited for the money to roll in. We were there from 8am until we were exhausted by the time we got home. We made about $160 and got rid of a lot of stuff, so I'm happy!! Jeff sold 2 of his Celebration III Star Wars Darth Vader figures for $35 a piece even though he wanted $50. The guy spent $80 though. We got rid of 2 chairs, a phone, the wicker table, a knife, a speaker, toys, a tv/radio, and a few other things I can't remember. I really wanted to get rid of the desk and the corner shelf b/c they were our 2 bulkiest items. We came home w/ them anyway and plan on dumping them at the thrift shop.

Today, I cleaned up all our extra space where the chair and all those boxes used to be. I dusted the ceiling fan in the dining room in addition to the display cabinets and curtains. The small display cabinets hadn't been dusted since we moved there 3 years they were pretty nasty. The curtains were cleaned not too long ago, but I did them again b/c the fan blew dust all over them. I put all Jeff's stuff in a pile and put the leftover boxes in a neat stack so the stuff in them can be sold on .

We also got rid of the green couch today and made $300 off of that was more extra space I got to clean. I rearranged the den a little to take advantage of all the room. Oh, and I even fixed the smoke detector!! It would beep if we didn't keep a fan blowing on we thought it was picking up carbon monoxide from somewhere. Either that or the battery was going dead. We replaced the battery but it kept on beeping and after so long, it sets off all the other detectors. I got so sick of it that I got a compressed air can and blew the thing out...thinking that maybe there was just dust on the sensor...and that fixed it!!! Woo hoo!! Yeah me! I did injure myself though..just scraped off a scab trying to climb into the chair. It hurt something fierce, but I lived. It still hurts though.

Overall, it was a great weekend and Jeff and I had fun together. Oh, and we also got a car loan. We refinanced his Chevy and used the equity in it to get a small loan so he can buy a commuter car. He had his eye on an Audi 5000 Quattro, but the guy sold it. Now he's looking at an Audi wagon for $400 more than he originally wanted to pay, so we're trying to figure out how to do that. I still think he'd be better off getting something smaller like a Jetta.

Another UPDATE: Lucky man is doing fine..rambunctious, but no more peeing. He's also getting along with the other cats again, so that makes me happy. Nothing else new to report for this post!!

Friday, August 05, 2005

My Poor Little Lucky Mustache Man....

Sniff..tear. I got my little Lucky man neutered on Wednesday because he was spraying our couch. I tried to trick him into the carrier, but it didn't work, so I ended up having to shove him in. That pissed him off, so he sprayed on the inside of the carrier and had to sit in it. It's a putrid smell I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Ok, yes I would. Anyway, so I took him to the little mobile spay/neuter unit and dropped him off at 8:30 that morning. Around 2:30 I went to get him. He was so groggy and his little head was just bobbing around w/ his eyes half closed. I got home and gently carried him into the bathroom and left the carrier open so he could come out when he wanted to. I ended up just taking him out of it and laying him in the cat bed until he woke up. His whole back half was numb, so he couldn't move.

Later on, after the anesthesia wore off, he started seeking out Farley and Elvis to play. They both would sniff at him..then hiss, growl and run away. ?? I don't get it. As soon as they do that, he chases them b/c he wants to play. They'll keep growling and he'll just sit down and meow this long, lonely howl. It's so sad. I just want to hug him all the time!!!

I have no idea why they're so terrified of him. They won't even eat food next to him. I wonder if the neutering changed his phermones making him smell different..or if he has something on him that they don't lying in his spray on the way to the vet. I can't bathe him until he heals, but I'm so afraid they won't accept him again. I don't want my Lucky man to be an outcast.

I'm also concerned b/c he's still so swollen that he looks like he still has testicles. Is it supposed to look like that??! They apparently don't use sutures for male cats b/c the incisions are so small. I hope it heals the way it's supposed to. Anyway..My poor little Lucky man....keep him and his healing nut sacks in your thoughts...

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Denver Pitbull Ban...My Thoughts

My sister told me the other day that since Denver is starting to enforce their Pitbull ban, 350 have been confiscated and another 257 have been euthanized. That's 557 dogs that are being killed just because of their breed. That's so...racist. Breedist?? Anyway...people are basically smuggling their dogs outside of city limits in order to save their lives. I think they should have at least given them a year to put them up for adoption or move out of the city..just some time to figure out what to do, you know?

Here's my thing..ok, so yeah, you hear more stories of Pitbulls biting people than any other breed, but German Shepards are actually the ones who've bit more's just not televised as much. That doesn't include police dogs...that's just the general Shepard pet population. Ok, pitbulls have a higher fatality rate b/c of their strength, but it's not a reason to kill off all the ones in Denver. They euthanized dogs that have had no violent history or even any inclination to bite someone. What they did is like saying.."Well..we've discovered that 8 out of 10 robberies is committed by a black man, so we're just going to throw them all in prison." That's not right. I at least think that they should maybe do behavioral screenings on the dogs to see if they have violent tendencies or not. That way they're not killing perfectly good pets.

Also, there's been problems here in NC w/ dog fighting rings. In Randolph County, the shelter had to take in 13 pitbulls from a dog fighting raid. They're having to be kept in individual pens until the trial is over (a year or more) and the shelter is having to euthanize adoptable animals due to lack of space. To top that off...the SHELTER is having to pay for their care. WTF!?!? I think whoever owned them should have to pay the costs and they're trying to pass a bill that states just that. They pay for their care throughout the trial and if they fail, the dogs are euthanized then instead of at the the end of the trial. I don't understand why they don't do that anyway...a fighting animal can't be adopted as a pet. One man was required to pay for the dogs' care, but he would only send $5 a month. Finally, the court ordered him to pay a certain percentage of his income. The whole thing just makes me want to cry, you know?

Plus, dogfighters don't tend to follow the laws anyway, so even if you banned all pitbulls from ownership across the country, they'd find other breeds. can make Yorkshire Terriers and Pomeranians nothing will stop the dogfighting...including killing pitbulls. I think Pitbulls get a bad rap. I think the problem is that there are too many irresponsible people owning them who don't know how to handle them. Large breeds require experienced dog owners. I don't think I'm even qualified enough to own a Pitbull..and I have 4 dogs. Anyone who owns dogs with an aggressive tendency should be extremely experienced in how to handle them. Dobermans, German Shepards, Pitbulls, Rottweiler's, Alaskan Malamutes, Huskies, Chows, Wolf Hybrids, Boxers...I can't think of any more at the moment, but you get the point.

All of this comes from the fact that my sister and her fiance own 2 pitbulls. Pitbull and one Am. Staff. They are both sweet, sweet dogs. I wouldn't want to piss one of them off...but I'm not afraid of them. Padme is high energy, loves to play, loves to groom the cat and is spoiled rotten. Bane thinks he's a lapdog. Bane is more aggressive than Padme is and Kelly told me recently that he's growled at her when she tried to correct him on something he did wrong. I'm not sure if he really growled..or if he just grumbled over being punished. It still scares me because he's huge. I've never seen a head so big in my life! Actually I have, but that was on a Mastiff, so it doesn't count. It seems like he just gets more aggressive when he gets older...or maybe it's just because he's in an apartment all the time instead of having a yard to play in, who knows..but I'm terrified he'll just snap one day and hurt her. I know she thinks that's ridiculous, but most owners who've been attacked say their dog never showed any tendency towards violence.

To sum up: Denver sucks, not all Pitbulls should be killed--b/c it sucks, Dogfighters suck, and I love my sister....who does not suck.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

An All Consuming Guilt....

First a little background. Several years ago, Jeff came home from Roanoke with Ronnie and Misti's cat Libby. I had wanted Farley to have a buddy, so Jeff was being sweet and brought her home. She was beautiful. Very tiny..maybe about 6 lbs...fluffy gray fur w/ white markings and a peach colored belly. She had emerald green eyes with these little black lines extending from the corners of the eye to her ear. Soooo cute. Her and Farley played all the time and she was extremely loveable and sociable. We hadn't had her long when she started peeing on the furniture. Mainly the formal couch in the living room and the pink chair. I was getting so sick of it, but we didn't have the money to have her fixed. One day, she peed in a basket of freshly washed and folded clothes. I decided that that was the last straw and took her to the animal shelter in Chatham County. Right after I dropped her off, I was consumed by guilt. I got home and started crying and I told Jeff that they were going to kill her. He told me I could go back and get her, but I didn't b/c I couldn't deal with her peeing on everything.

Now that we have Lucky and he's peeing on everything too, I'm reminded of Libby and how sweet she was and I really miss her. I wish we'd just kept her and had her fixed. She was a much better cat than Elvis or Lucky. Elvis is anti-social and hides all the time. He wasn't that way until Hailey and Natalie came down when he was just a kitten and carried him everywhere. He got sick of it and wanted to be left now he thinks the same thing is going to happen whenever we have company. Lucky is just an ass. He howls all the time and is kinda antisocial. We can't find him until he wants to be fed or loved on.

I just feel guilty because I'm afraid that Libby was euthanized and never had a chance to find a loving home and to show anyone else how sweet she was. She trusted me to take care of her, and I didn't. I got rid of her when the going got rough instead of sticking it out. It's hard to believe I still feel this guilty over it 3 years later. I consider myself an extreme animal lover and I did nothing to her but send her to her death. I can hope that she was adopted and found a loving home, but my inner voice says she didn't. I acted out of anger and shouldn't have. I know there's nothing I can do about it now since it's in the past, but a part of me still mourns the loss of her due to a stupid decision on my part....and I hate myself for doing that. =( I hope I'm forgiven for doing that to her. I just feel so bad. Oh's not very productive to sit here and brood over it, so I'll try to put it away and move on.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Internet Sucks I went to post an update covering the girls coming down for the weekend and what not..and when I went to submit it..I got "Page not found" and I tried to refresh and lost the whole damn message. And it was pretty lengthy and detailed and I'm too pissed off to retype it. paraphrase and recap what I wrote...

Hailey and Natalie came down and we sang, ate, went to the zoo, went to the lake, and it was a hoot! A freakin humdinger of a time! was fun, but we had some minor setbacks. Natalie never stops whining and Hailey breaks stuff and cheats and lies during games. Jeff spent a lot of time surfing Craigs List on the computer while I tried to give Natalie a bath, dry Hailey's hair and get them to bed. He also surfed Ebay instead of spending time w/ us while we watched a movie. I was a little miffed but didn't say anything at the time b/c I thought he was doing stuff for class. I hope this isn't a preview of what he'll be like when we have our own.

I was also irritated as hell b/c it turns out Ronnie and Misti didn't even go out of town...which is why I thought we were watching them...and it turns out they didn't even get to get it on b/c of "female stuff". And we also only got $50 for taking them the whole weekend. I am glad I got to spend time w/ them, but I feel like they use us so badly. I think Misti takes advantage of Jeff b/c he's Ronnie's best friend...and b/c I know they're best friends, I never say anything. When I do..he says.."but Ronnie's my best friend" I just keep my mouth shut.

Work still sucks, I'm still not pregnant and I have no money. Kelly's had mono, I haven't talked to Hannah in a LONG time and Jazz just peed on my floor...again. Maybe it's just the heat from today (105), but I'm in a pretty lousy mood. My lasagna didn't turn out like I wanted it to and I spilled a bunch on the floor..which is probably why Jazz is licking my foot. I can't think of anything else going on and I'm pretty sure I've bitched enough for one day.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Eh..Life can suck sometimes

Ok, so a quick recap of the past couple weeks since I don't have much time..I got home in about 20 minutes. I found out Kelly had been sick and may have ..or may have had...mono. :/ Poor thing...I miss her. She's wearing herself out w/ work and the gym and stress over Tim leaving..all just my opinion, but I wish I could do something for her.

I've still been slaving away at work...reading and listening about everyone else being pregnant..except for me. Jeff's cousin's wife is pregnant, my cousin Meredith is expecting in August, a ton of celebrities are pregnant, a friend of Hannah's is pregnant...if I remember correctly, an officer here just had a baby, brooke's sister in law is pregnant.'s really disheartening to hear that all these women are having babies and I'm not. Every time I hear of someone else being heart aches and feels as if it's dropped right through the floor and left a big empty hole in my chest. I want to be happy for them, but my own despair greatly overshadows the joy I know I should be feeling. Jeff has no idea what I'm going through..nor would he understand it. I know he's being as supportive as he can, but I just wish he would do everything he can to make this happen just like I have been. I guess I shouldn't assume he isn't, but I suppose I'm too busy wallowing in self-pity. I feel like a failure.

Brooke said that it'll happen when I least expect it and that it'll happen after everybody else has their babies so that all the attention can be focused on me. I just don't feel like my doctors are doing enough to help me. They just put me on meds, tell me to have lots of sex and that's it. No checking to see if my tubes are checking to see if the meds are overstimulating my ovaries...nothing. How many different doctors do I need to see before I get some damn help?! Sigh...

Anyway..that's all that I can think of that's been going on..I just wanted to give a quick update before I forgot!

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Another long week...

They tried to call me in twice this week. I made up lies for why I couldn't come in b/c I really just couldn't stand the thought of being here. Amy gave Wayne the pager while she's on vacation and if his ego got any bigger and his chest puffed out any more, he'd float away. He's already called Robbin and asked her to come in next Friday. I just can't believe Amy left him in charge...he doesn't know shit. Sigh..oh well. I just need to get the hell out of here.

Jeff's parents also came down to look for houses and we went out Thursday. Today, Jeff and his dad are building some lightposts down by the sides of the driveway..and they're not what I had in mind. They're using 4x4's and putting them side by side w/ lights on top. I thought about doing the big round posts like you see at the beach and wrapping them w/ that big boat rope you it'd have a very nautical look. Put lights on the tops and our house numbers on them with some plants around the base..or ponds. I'll have to talk to him when I get home. Maybe we can do that after we get the driveway filled in and built up.

Our light fixture on the side of the house also broke, so Jeff and his dad replaced it..w/ floodlights. That's also not what I had in mind. I wanted the house to look more beachy or nautical and the floodlight takes away from that. I think the floodlight needs to go up at the peak of the house and be attached to a motion sensor. I just wish Jeff would run this stuff by me before he just goes and does it. It's my house too and I should have a say so in what's done to it, you know? I hadn't planned on replacing the light fixture w/ the nautical one just yet, but since it broke, I was looking in to buying it..but I guess I have no need to do that now. Oh well..

I also have poison ivy all over my left foot and it's driving me crazy!! I got it walking out to Jazz's kennel to feed her...ugh. I hate that it's that close to the house. This is the worst I've ever had it..and it's only about 5 or 6 spots..but the itch is almost intolerable!! And to top it's been over a week since I've gotten any b/c of our schedules...and now is the time I normally ovulate, so we really need to...and I'm hornier than I'm pretty sure I'm getting ready to ovulate, or already have. The way it's doesn't seem like I'll ever get pregnant. I'm just really discouraged I guess. Nothing I can really do about it though...just be patient. Anyway, I need to get back to work and find something to eat. L8R

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Holy Crap!!

No freakin' way....From

Muslims Protest Indonesian Transvestite Pageant
POSTED: 2:38 pm EDT June 27, 2005
UPDATED: 2:41 pm EDT June 27, 2005
JAKARTA, Indonesia -- A transvestite pageant in Indonesia has drawn angry protests from a Muslim group.
Slideshow: Muslims Protest Indonesian Transvestite Pageant

Transvestite Pageant Draws Protest

The Miss Waria 2005 pageant was held openly for the first time last weekend in Jakarta, attracting contestants from all over Indonesia.
Indonesia is the world's most populous Muslim nation.
"Waria" is an abbreviation for the Indonesian words "female" and "male."
The pageant only allowed full-time transvestites and transsexuals. No cross-dressers were allowed.
Thirty finalists took part in Sunday's grand finals, but the historic event did not go as smoothly as organizers had hoped.
Hundreds of Muslim protesters gathered outside the pageant and demanded that police stop the event.
One muslim protester said Allah would punish Indonesia with a second tsunami if police failed to break up the pageant.
The demonstration eventually ended when the pageant's lawyer informed the mob that event organizers had received a proper permit from the city.

Click here for the slideshow.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Monday's Theme Song

This is today's theme heard on 96 rocks out of Greensboro. It can also be heard here and is sung to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club theme song.

What's the worst day of the week that gets us all depressed? M-O-N-D-A-Y S-U-C-K-S
Here comes more aggrivation and a brand new week of stress, M-O-N-D-A-Y S-U-C-K-S
Monday Suuuucks. (Monday Sucks!) Monday Suuuucks. (Monday Sucks!)
Forever will it make you want to cry (Cry! Cry! Cry!)
So come along and sing this song and get it off your chest..
M-O-N-D-A-Y Sss-Uuuu-Cccc-Kkk-Ssssssss!!

I wholeheartedly agree!!!!!!!

D.C. Rocks

Yawwnnn. What a long weekend! It was awesome though. The drive up was made long b/c of all the traffic on I95 once you hit Quantico. We left our house around 8:45, dropped the dogs off and hit the road. Our only delays were the McDonald's in Sanford and the traffic on I95. The ave. speed on 95 is 85-90 mph, so you really have to pay attention. We saw a few things on the way up there that are worth mentioning. We saw a man on the side of the road who was so fat he didn't even know his pants were pulled down below his we got an eyeful of sweaty, fat crack. If only I could poke out my mind's eye!!! I also saw a fat woman on a motorcycle who only had one usable arm. The other was shrunken and deformed. That one laid in her lap while she steered the motorcycle with the other one. Jeff doesn't believe me. He thinks I'm making the whole thing up. It was a black or dark blue motorcycle and she was wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt. She also had a matching helmet to go w/ the bike. I know I saw her...but even when I looked back for her..I didn't see her, which didn't help my believability level.

Anyway, we got to our hotel in Rockville, MD and I took an hour nap before we had to be at Maggiano's in Bethesda by 6pm. We were there for Justin's surprise 30th B-day party and he was truly shocked to see us. Dinner was incredible!! I highly recommend the 4 cheese ravioli in pesto sauce, the creme brulle and the Parmesan garlic bread. OH, and the Caesar salad rocks too. We were absolutely stuffed. After dinner, Justin's girlfriend Sarah planned for all of us to go to Dave & Buster's. The easiest way to describe it is a giant Chuck E. Cheese for adults. A massive arcade with alcohol. You don't even have to leave the game you're playing..they bring the beer or marguerita to you...pretty sweet. I mostly watched Jeff play games but there were a few I played. We got back to the hotel around 1am and just crashed.

Sunday morning, we got up around 8 to check out and go meet Justin and Sarah. We went to an awesome little market near his apt. at 6th and Mass. and got yummies for breakfast. To die for cheese danishes and apple fritters!! Not to mention the little mini toll house cookies!! We then went to a little local coffee shop and Jeff got me the best iced chai I've ever had. We also went through a small flea market and walked through the park back to our car and headed out to sight see. It's much better seeing it when you're with a local who knows about more of the obscure out of the way memorials that no one else ever notices. Like the Einstein was really neat if you ever get to go. We went to the Jefferson Memorial, FDR Memorial and saw the Capitol, White House, Wash. Monument, Union Station, Embassy Row, some of the Smithsonian Museums and lots of other neat bldgs. Oh..lets don't forget the 5000 Starbucks coffee houses on just about every corner.

FDR's memorial was very interesting and beautiful. Lots of granite and waterfalls that gives his lifestory from the beginning of his presidency through WWII and the depression. Very much worth seeing. Embassy row is also something everyone needs to see. The architecture that goes into these buildings is just phenomenal. They just don't make buildings like that it anymore and it's a shame. We took a ton of pictures and then made it back to Justin's apartment which is small..but very cool and trendy. Big windows, a loft living room, hardwood floors and skylights. It needs some TLC, but I really liked had a lot of character. I really enjoyed hanging out with them and would love to go back soon to see some of the memorials at night. I think we may go back in Sept. or Oct. when the leaves are changing and it's not quite as hot.

After saying our goodbyes we got back on the road and basically hit a brick wall on I95. We just sat we got off on US1 and bypassed everything. We got gas in Woodbridge and stopped and ate at Five Guys Burgers..another yummy place to eat. For FYI...the regular TWO patties and the regular fries are massive!! So..if there's 2 of you, each of you get the little hamburger and split one thing of fries and you'll be good to go! After lunch, it was about 4pm when we headed out of Woodbridge...and we had to pick the dogs up by 6 or 7 and we knew we weren't going to make it. We called Terri and agreed that if we got there by 9pm, we'd go ahead and pick them up..if it was after 9, we'd pick them up in the morning. We busted ass and got to her place at 8:45. Shew!

When we got home, we got something quick to eat, unloaded all our pictures into the computer and then went to bed. I slept all of last night and most of today...and I'm still tired. Very well worth it in my opinion...even though my checking account is hurting pretty badly. I hope we can recover!! Ronnie and Misti didn't make it because their kids are sick..and Kyle was feeling well enough to make the trip, so it was good to see them too. I didn't know anyone else, but it was still fun. So to sum up...D.C. rocks and I had fun. =)

Friday, June 24, 2005

Prison Problems

Ok, so I've been giving some thought to the prison situation here in the U.S. The population is outgrowing the prison space, so we're having to build more prisons. While we can't prevent people from committing crimes, there are some solutions. Well, first of all...I need to state that I am for capitol punishment. Some people just deserve to be killed. I also need to state that Jeff disagreed with my solution..even though it's way out in left field and would piss a lot of people off. Realistically, it'll never work and there's a lot of holes in the plan...but it's still a good idea.

We should give everyone in Australia a year to find somewhere else to live and then turn Australia into a giant prison colony. Historically, that's what it was it seems fitting. We wouldn't even have to put them in confined cells. We could just let them all run around and kill each the problem's solved!! Plus, if they tried to escape, where are they going to go? They're surrounded by shark infested waters. If they tried to leave..I'd just look and them and say.."Go ahead."...then I'd make bets with other people as to how far he'd make it before he got eaten or he drown. Hopefully he'd be a pedophile who was just badly mauled by a shark and would pray for death long before it found him. Oo..or maybe be molested by an octopus or a swordfish. gross would that feel having your ass penetrated by a fat squid tentacle after he'd made you his bitch?!

Anyway..There are a lot of holes in the plan though. It'd have to be all male or all female because otherwise you'd just be breeding a total criminal population. Unless you had them all fixed. Also, if you let them run around and kill each other, there would be no way you could have guards to monitor them...because they'd get killed too. Without guards, you'd have no way of knowing if they built a boat and escaped w/o being eaten. I'm sure there's other holes in my logic, but it's too late to think of them. I mean come on...I'm talking about being raped by a damn squid! I need to go to bed..shew! Alright, I guess I'll make like a bread truck and haul buns!!..I'm out..DL

Monday, June 20, 2005

Highways, Snakes and Heart Attacks, Oh My!!

What a weekend. The most unbelievable thing happened as we started our weekend. After a long day of cleaning, packing and yard work, we headed out for Roanoke, VA to get our couples massage we so desperately deserved. As we headed north on 421, just cruising along at about 80 mph, talking about mundane regular stuff, I heard Jeff yell and felt the car swerve. I thought maybe something had flown in the window and landed on him, but when I glanced over, there was about 5 inches of a SNAKE coming out from around the steering wheel and looking right at Jeff. He pulled over and when we both looked again, he was gone. We had no idea where it was and we thought we'd both hallucinated. It had come out of where the headlights lever is. We looked everywhere and found him wrapped around the steering column in the dashboard. We popped the dashboard off and pulled him out. I was just going to throw him in the woods and go on. Jeff started scrambling for something to put him in, so the snake just laid there in the floor board, I guess just not sure where to go. Jeff comes back with my trunk toolbox and spends a good 5-6 minutes trying to get him in. After he was locked in, we popped the dash back on and got back on the road.

Jeff then decided he needed something better to put him in, so we went to the pet store at the Four Seasons Mall in Greensboro and got one of those little critter keeper boxes so he could at least have some air. Plus this way, we could look at him. He's about 2 feet long and dark gray with irregular shaped black markings. He's not poisonous, but we have no idea what kind of snake he is. I think that's the biggest reason Jeff kept him. We have no idea how the hell he got in the car, or how long he'd been there...but I had the heebie jeebies for the next hour or so. What kept getting to me was that I was going to drive!! I would've wrecked and killed us..I have no doubts about that. Jeff did an incredible job and is better in tense situations than I am. I owe him for his calm and quick thinking because like I said, I would've just freaked the hell out and wrecked trying to get away from it. I'm also glad it was still daylight outside because if it had been dark, we'd never have known it was there..until it started slithering up Jeff's arm or leg...then we surely would've wrecked.

Anyhow, even though it scared the crap out of both of us, we have a pretty cool story to tell, and the snake to prove it. He's curled up in the terrarium right now, but I think we'll release him after we figure out what kind he is. The rest of the weekend was pretty good..awesome massage, good food and some time with family. We never got to see Hannah or Ronnie & Misti, but since it was Father's Day, it's good we got more time with family. I'm still tired was a long weekend. I just hope the coming weeks are even a little boring. I've had enough excitement to last me for quite awhile!!!

Whachu lookin at? Posted by Hello

I just thought I'd share a picture of one of my fish since he posed so nicely. I haven't really named either one of them..I figured "Oscar" would be too generic. He'll be going to a new tank soon, so he'll be much happier!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Sad news, and a rant Jeff won't like

Jeff gave me some sad news today. Kyle and Andrea are moving to Florida to be closer to her mom. They found out a few weeks ago that she has cancer and then yesterday or so found out it was worse than they expected. I've talked to both Andrea and Kyle since then and Kyle seems to think Florida will be a permanent home since neither one of them has family here in NC. I really like Andrea's mom too, so it's sad to hear she's not doing well. Andrea said she thinks her mom is doing better than she is. From what Jeff said, the doctors aren't even talking about a cure anymore, they're just talking about managing it, which means it's too far advanced to do anything about. I hope a miracle happens and Aleta still has a long life ahead of her. If nothing else, I hope Andrea gets to spend a lot of time with her and can find some sort of strength if the worse happens. I think Andrea's a lot stronger than she thinks. All my thoughts and hopes go out to them.

Now for my rant. Sigh...I'm not even sure where to start. There's this girl, a friend of Jeff's whose name rhymes with "Fisty" who I've been having issues with. The more I deal with her, the more I wonder if I really like her. It really all started this past winter when she said I had no backbone. She said it in front of me and a room full of people. I was too tired to say anything, but it really burned me up. She was demanding that her husband go get her a hot chocolate, and not only did he not defend me, Jeff went with him. That upset me a bit, but it would have done me no good to say so. I pick my battles, so even telling her to go f*ck herself wouldn't have been worth my energy.

The way she treats her husband also really angers me. She bosses him around and is very controlling. What makes me even angrier is that he puts up with it. He can be busy and she can be doing nothing and she'll tell him to do something that she's very capable of. Or she'll tell him to go get something and makes him walk across the room to get it when she's sitting right next to it. I know they're happy and that the relationship is working fine the way it is, but it still bothers the hell out of me. I also understand that she had a screwed up childhood, but just because she had no control over her childhood is no reason to try to control everything and everyone now. She needs to control herself from controlling everything and everyone...if that makes sense.

When we go to the beach with them, I never feel relaxed because she's always yelling at the kids..granted, sometimes they really deserve it b/c her oldest daughter is just like her. I also feel like it's their vacation and we're just tagging along, even though we're paying for half of it. That's also an issue. We owe $550 for the beach house. They owe us $250 for the Star Wars trip Jeff and I paid for. We're going to D.C. next weekend and they want to subtract half of the cost of the hotel room from the $250 that they owe us. Also, they want us to take the girls for a weekend in July so they can go on a belated anniversary trip. We're doing this as a favor to them, and we're both having to take off work to do well as drive halfway to pick them up. We also have to feed and entertain them the whole weekend, so to my way of thinking, they still owe us the full $250.

They also want us to pay for half the groceries at the beach. There's 5 of them and only 2 of why should we pay half? All 3 kids could probably only count as 2, since they eat less, so that's 4 of them. Shouldn't we pay just 1/3 of the groceries? I never say anything b/c I know it's Jeff's best friend's wife, but I can only take so much. I think what bothered me the most about what she said, was that it's partially true. I do let people walk all over me, b/c I try to make everyone happy, even though I know it's impossible. I don't defend myself b/c I feel like it's futile...they're going to think whatever they want, regardless of what I say or it'd be a waste of energy to correct them.'s also a waste of energy to sit here angry and fume over the fact that she said something without fully knowing who I am. I just need to get over it and move on. I need to learn how to let things go.

What scares me is that I know how vengeful and ruthless I can be..especially when I'm hurt. I just keep it buried as deep as I can because I'm ashamed of how volitile it can be..but I also have a point where if I'm pushed too far, it comes out. It's evil, malicious and ugly. It's like a coiled snake. It strikes so fast you're not even sure what just happened. You just know it came out of nowhere and hurt like hell. It even surprises me how quick it strikes. Does that make me a bad person?

I can say some down right mean and hurtful things. When I found out Jeff was smoking again and that he lied about it, I vented to Brooke and told her all the things I could say to Jeff to let him know how angry I was and how much I really hate him smoking. Brooke just got this wide eyed look and said, "Damn Dana, I'd hate to be married to you or ever get on your bad side." I'd just really hate for M to say something to me that would hurt my feelings enough to make me mad because I'm afraid I'd say something to her and embarrass Jeff. She acts all tough and bitchy, but I have no doubts that I could make her cry. I don't want anyone to know that side of me or ever have to face it, because I'd hate to face it if I were them. I'm more afraid of Jeff being mad at me than her. I'm not proud of that side of me, but I can't pretend it's not there, even though I wish it wasn't. That's why I keep such a tight reign on it. Very few know I have it and I'd like to keep it that way. Ok..rant over. Time to put it away and move on...

Thursday, June 09, 2005

First taste of Summer!!!

So, yesterday after my post, I went back to bed until I got a call from Brooke. I got up, got dressed and met her at her dad's house to go swimming. We spent all afternoon floating around the pool in floats, soaking up the sun. was a much needed mini-vacation. Even though I wore sunscreen, my arms and forehead got pretty burnt, but not too painful. I'll be tan by Saturday. Woo!

Her dad was awesome though! He's a very down to earth, no nonsense kind of man. He won't let his kids do anything b/c he'd rather do it himself..he kept saying.."I don't have time for you kids to be messin'. All you do is mess." LOL..I thought it was pretty funny. He's just a fun guy who basically raised all 11 of his kids on his own and sacrificed a lot to give them what they needed. Everything at their house he built on his own for the most part. The additions to the house, the pond, the barn, the sheds, the walkways, the trellis's, the fences, the rock's a lot for a man to do on his own. He wouldn't even let anyone help him with the new fence he was putting up around the pool. He retired in 98 from the railroad where he worked for 30 some odd years and just piddles around the house. He still has 5 kids living at home, 2 of which are old enough to be on their own but won't. One's just started college, the other is 11 and the 3rd one is 18, but he's mentally challenged and has the mind of a 6 or 7 yr.old. He's been in a lot of trouble lately because he does stuff he knows is wrong, but can't help it. Her dad is the most hard working man I think I've ever met. I liked him instantly.

Anyway, so after swimming all afternoon, I called Jeff and Brooke called Mike and we all met up at Elois's for dinner. I think Jeff really liked Brooke's dad too. Mike didn't say much through dinner and Johnathan, the mentally challenged adopted brother kept trying to talk Jeff into playing basketball. We did end up going back over to the house for a bit, but Jeff never got to see the inside of the house. We stayed longer than intended because Brooke's dad is a bit of a talker..which I didn't know until after dinner. He was gone most of the time I was at the pool. Elois's was quite tasty if I do say so myself. Just a little diner in Bear Creek with homecooked food. Seafood, burgers, hot dogs, sandwiches, and stuff like that. Jeff and I split a banana split that was reallllly yummy. I have a feeling we'll be going back there again! Jeff wanted to get back here to do homework, but we don't socialize enough, so I'm really glad he went. I like meeting interesting people.

Ok, well I have some errands to run, so I should get going. That way, I can come back and hide from the heat by laying around in here!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

More mundane daily activities finally feels like summer. Yesterday hit 92..and there wasn't even a breeze to cool your searing least until the sky broke open and blessed us with some cool, refreshing rain. I had bathed the dogs earlier in the day so I was wearing my bikini..which is only reserved for when I'm sure no one will see me. When Jeff called to tell me that it was getting ready to storm, I started cleaning stuff off the deck and putting away anything that could either blow away, become projectile, or break my fish tank. I also drained all the water out of the tank since by now, I know it'll hold water and so I could bring it in the house should the storm get too bad. It started raining sometime around when I was draining the tank and trying to get the tarp closed over the shed. I was soaking wet and walked back into a cool air conditioned house..ugh. Took me a bit to get warmed back up, but cleaning the rest of the house helped. I'm sure I looked really stupid vacuuming in a bikini.

Anyhow, I had a more productive house cleaning day than any I've attempted recently. Got all the laundry done, cleaned the air purifier, vacuumed the whole house, vacuumed fur off all the couches, washed the sheets on the couch, washed the pillows and throws on the couch, mopped the kitchen floor, got the dishes put away, straightened up the den, washed the dogs, cleaned my jewelry, cleaned the guest bathroom, then I washed myself, and to top it off, even had dinner ready for when Jeff came home. Do I rock or what?

After some tv, we went to bed..where Jeff got a little wild and left me some hickies..but I'm not going to complain because.well..Jeff's just awesome. He told me that I cuddle nicely and I must say, I think the same of him. It was all I could do to let him leave for work this morning. I just wanted him to stay home so we could cuddle..and stuff..all day. I hope we'll be able to do the same tonight..if I don't go into work. Amy called last night and needs me to come in because Wayne's grandmother died..but I really just don't want to go in. I know we need the money, but I'm getting burned out. I also have a ton of errands to run today in Sanford and some bills to take care I'd like to get the rest of the house cleaned and be able to cuddle w/ Jeff again tonight. I swear...I could just kiss that man forever! I feel sorry for all the women who will never know what an incredible kisser he is. It just makes me want to melt into him. OK..thinking like this while he's not here is unproductive and makes me long for him, so I'll stop

Nothing else has really been going on...just work. But that does remind me..we have a new officer..and he's absolutely gorgeous. He's only 22 and straight out of college, but he's just..WOW. The only problem is, he knows it..and that ruins everything. He is very nice and gentlemanly and I think he'll make a good cop, but he's just in love with himself. Eh least it's some eye candy to make going into that hell hole almost worth it. He's about 6'1, dirty blond or light brown hair, blue/green eyes, tanned skin, full lips, rippling forearms and a smile that'll knock you over. He's not musclebound or anything..lean and a runner. It's hard not to looking at the sun. You know you're not supposed to look, but you can't help it, and by the time you realize you're looking at it..your eyes have already been melted from your head. Ok, so maybe it's not exactly like that, but you get the point. Anyhow, this is enough rambling for one day..and none of it was of great importance..maybe next time it will be.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I married Wylie Coyote

So about the rest of Memorial Day Weekend...Sunday, we got the lawn mowed and Jeff worked on his boat trailer so we can get the boat to the lake. We also decided to go ahead and burn our brush pile in the back yard. Since Jeff knew we were doing this, he got out the chainsaw and cut down a pine tree at the end of the driveway that was leaning precariously over it. He also wrapped a chain around it and pulled the stump out of the ground w/ the truck. In addition to this, he cleared a couple of other little trees that were too close to the driveway and loaded it all up to be thrown in the brush pile. We had a decent pile happening, but not nearly as big as we've had them before.

To set this little story up, I must remind everyone that back in Sept. of 2003, we had a brush pile that was about 8 feet high. While I was in the kitchen, I looked out to see Jeff walking around the brush pile w/ a jar in his hand. He had poured the gasoline on the pile and was taking gun powder and making a trail out from it. ?! His plan was to light the trail of gun powder so he wouldn't have to be anywhere near it when it exploded into flames. So, just before he lit it, he looked back at the window where I stood with an expression that seemed to say.."Are you watching me? watchin'? You gotta see this!" I bent down for just a second to put something under the sink and while doing that, I heard "BOOM!!" I jerked back up to see 10 feet of flames and Jeff beating on his legs. Apparently, he didn't take into account the wind blowing the gas fumes back around him. Freaked me the hell out, but I figured, he's standing, so he must be ok. He came to the side of the deck, where I had run out to see what happened, and that's when I really saw him. He'd been wearing sandals, so all the hair on his feet and calves were gone. His hair and eyelashes were singed. His arm hair was singed. He just stood there shaking. I tried talking him into going to the doctor, but he said he was fine. Within an hour, he had blisters forming on his feet and calves. By nightfall, the burns were a dark purple with puffy blisters. He didn't scar too badly, mostly just on his feet. So anyway..

This past Sunday, he told me he wasn't lighting the brush pile because of what happened last time. He poured the gasoline over the fire and told me to light it. I lit a dried branch w/ dead leaves and was going to throw it on the pile so we wouldn't have to be near it when it caught fire. Well, everytime I lit it and threw it on the pile, it went out before it could ignite the gas. So after 3 failed attempts, Jeff tells me to hand him the lighter and to get ready to run. He gets as far from it as he can while holding out the lighter and he inches up to the pile. He wasn't going to get any closer than he had to. Well..I'm sure you've guessed where this is leading. The fumes had been blown around us, only I was a bit farther back than he was. So, the pile burst into flames and engulfed Jeff, singing off his leg hair again. This time, it was just his right calf and it wasn't nearly as bad as last time. This time, no blisters formed and there's only a couple of small burns on the back of his calf. He's determined that he's never lighting another one, unless we get roman candles and do it from a safe distance. It left the grass slightly burnt in about a 10 ft. in diameter circle around the brush pile. I am glad he's ok, but I just can't believe he's set himself on fire..twice. He laughs about it and is hoping for some more cool scars.

The rest of Sunday was grilling hot dogs, making deviled eggs and eating quite a yummy traditional Memorial Day weekend dinner. Jeff also got the shelves put up in the bathroom. It was quite a productive weekend all in all...with the minor setback of Jeff setting himself on fire again. The only thing we didn't do is set off fireworks. I figured, with Jeff's track record, it might not be a good idea. Until next time...meep, meep!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

So long....and thanks for all the fish.

Jeff and I went fishing today!! I hadn't been fishing in I was a little anxious about how I'd do. After some difficulty casting right, I caught 3 fish! Just little tiny perch, but I was proud of myself. I actually caught 4, but the first one got away from me before I could get it out of the water. I even baited my own hook and released the fish on my own. Ok, not totally on my own, b/c twice, I couldn't get the hook out...but the point is, I touched the fish. I even had fish blood and worm juice on my shirt and didn't freak out..but I definately took a shower when I got home.

Once home, we passed out for about 3 hours and missed Pete's party..and I feel bad about that, but it was some good sleep! We need to have him over for dinner or something once we get this house cleaned up. I think Jeff's going to go to the flea market next weekend by himself, so that'll help clean up this place a bit.

Another highlight from today was dinner. Mmmmm...Jeff made london broil, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob and strawberry shortcake. I was stuffed! Quite a yummy dinner! I'm so glad I married him..I have no idea what I'd have done if I'd ended up with someone who hated cooking..or expected me to do it all the time. I just don't like doing it. When I'm here alone while Jeff's in Roanoke, I subsist on PB & J sandwiches and chips. Joy. Rapture. Doesn't quite compare to london broil. Anyhow, since today was a fun day, I thought I'd share it. I have no idea what we're doing tomorrow..being Sunday. Since it's not daylight yet, I still consider right now a part of yesterday..Saturday. I woke up and couldn't go back to here I am. I had weird dreams about being out on the lake on a boat and being hit on by presidential candidate..and loser..John Kerry. We were swimming in the pool on his boat. Very strange. Anyway, it's time to try to go back to sleep. So long..and thanks for all the fish.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Quote from my Checking account.."OUCH" we spend a crapload of money today. When I got off work, I went to Mike's to pick up a 75 gal. fishtank for my oscars..which wasn't totally necessary..but I got it for $50, so I couldn't pass it up. Then Jeff left to go fishing while I slept and got home right about the time I got up. I got ready and we went to Lowe's and got some shelving for the bathroom, then to Walmart to get fishing line and a lounge chair. After that we went to the feed store and got dog food, then to the pet store to get filters for my fishtank, then to eat at the little Crossroads Diner/Hershey's Ice Cream shop, then to the grocery store. Oh, and I also paid bills. Not much left from my big ass paycheck that I was so thrilled to get. We could've passed up the shelving and stuff, but it was on clearance and a hell of a deal. We got a LOT of groceries, but b/c I'm such a thrifty shopper, I only spent $102. It's just depressing to spend that much money in one day...and I didn't know until we got home that the cell phone bill hadn't been paid, but I need to call Sprint anyway b/c I think it's wrong.

But other than the money situation, Jeff and I had a great day and a lot of fun. He kept me laughing most of the time because he's so cute and goofy. Plus, the sugary lemonade had him wired. I like seeing him all excitable and goofy and happy. I feed off of other people's energy, so if he's down in the dumps, so am I. If he's happy, then so am I..usually. We don't get to spend a lot of time together while we're working, so it's nice to have him to myself for a couple of days. I should probably be in bed now since we're getting up to go fishing in the morning, but I couldn't sleep knowing the cell phone bill wasn't paid. It was stressing me out..I really need to learn how to relax! Well, and plus when I got up to go to the bathroom, I noticed one of the cat's had peed on the bathroom rug..which meant the litterbox needed to be I cleaned it. Stupid thing is electric and is supposed to clean itself..but it's apparently broken. Suck. I wish they could all be outdoor cats, but Farley's declawed, Elvis refuses to go outside at all and Lucky has a gimpy foot, so I'm afraid he wouldn't be able to defend himself. Anyone want a cat?? Three is too many for me.

Anyhow..I guess I should try to get more sleep or I'll be dragging ass later today. So, like a fat girl playing dodge ball, I'm out.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Just under 3 hours..and counting. first blog. Like anyone will read it, but I guess it can be cathartic. Is that spelled right? If it's not..oh well, it's almost 4am and I'm still at work..alone. Brooke left me at 0030, so I'm tired and have no one to keep me awake. I did entertain myself with SNL's The Best of Will Ferrell...and I really needed the laugh. "I need more cow bell, baby! I have a fever...and the only prescription, is more cow bell! I gotta have more cow bell!" Ah....I love it! I would also like to report that I have overcome my denial and accepted that I am extremely overworked. I got my paycheck today and it had 21 hours of OT on it. My next check will have 12. The one before this one had 6. This weekend is the first time I've had more than 1 day off at a time in, um..3 or 4 weeks, I've lost count. After 0630, I don't even want to think of this place until Monday.

I haven't seen my family since I went to Grace's funeral back in January because I've been too tired on my days off to travel or do anything but lie around and cherish the fact that I'm not at work. Sleep is a much tresured commodity. Most of my sleep is interrupted by cats meowing , dogs barking, the UPS man honking in the driveway and my own selfish need to urinate. Lately, the biggest reason is because I'm too stressed out to relax and the hormones my Dr. has me on is giving me hellacious hot flashes. One minute I'm so cold you could hang a coat on my nipples and the next minute I feel like I'm tanning on the surface of the sun. I wonder if men understand the misery of hot flashes?? Probably not. I hope Jeff can appreciate everything I'm putting my body through to get pregnant. It hasn't been easy..on my physical or emotional wellbeing...but being the stubborn ass that I am, I won't quit until we conceive. Working so much probably hasn't helped the situation, but we need the money.

I'm even missing out on seeing all of my friends from ETSU because I'm too tired to travel, I don't have the money, and this weekend is supposed to be my prime time to conceive. Sigh...I miss them though and I hope we can all get together again soon. I know I need the stress relief! I guess I should get back to work, or rather, pretending to work . We're slow at the moment...but such is a summer on a college campus. I go..going to make the best of the next 3 hours!