Friday, May 27, 2005

Just under 3 hours..and counting. first blog. Like anyone will read it, but I guess it can be cathartic. Is that spelled right? If it's not..oh well, it's almost 4am and I'm still at work..alone. Brooke left me at 0030, so I'm tired and have no one to keep me awake. I did entertain myself with SNL's The Best of Will Ferrell...and I really needed the laugh. "I need more cow bell, baby! I have a fever...and the only prescription, is more cow bell! I gotta have more cow bell!" Ah....I love it! I would also like to report that I have overcome my denial and accepted that I am extremely overworked. I got my paycheck today and it had 21 hours of OT on it. My next check will have 12. The one before this one had 6. This weekend is the first time I've had more than 1 day off at a time in, um..3 or 4 weeks, I've lost count. After 0630, I don't even want to think of this place until Monday.

I haven't seen my family since I went to Grace's funeral back in January because I've been too tired on my days off to travel or do anything but lie around and cherish the fact that I'm not at work. Sleep is a much tresured commodity. Most of my sleep is interrupted by cats meowing , dogs barking, the UPS man honking in the driveway and my own selfish need to urinate. Lately, the biggest reason is because I'm too stressed out to relax and the hormones my Dr. has me on is giving me hellacious hot flashes. One minute I'm so cold you could hang a coat on my nipples and the next minute I feel like I'm tanning on the surface of the sun. I wonder if men understand the misery of hot flashes?? Probably not. I hope Jeff can appreciate everything I'm putting my body through to get pregnant. It hasn't been easy..on my physical or emotional wellbeing...but being the stubborn ass that I am, I won't quit until we conceive. Working so much probably hasn't helped the situation, but we need the money.

I'm even missing out on seeing all of my friends from ETSU because I'm too tired to travel, I don't have the money, and this weekend is supposed to be my prime time to conceive. Sigh...I miss them though and I hope we can all get together again soon. I know I need the stress relief! I guess I should get back to work, or rather, pretending to work . We're slow at the moment...but such is a summer on a college campus. I go..going to make the best of the next 3 hours!

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