Friday, June 24, 2005

Prison Problems

Ok, so I've been giving some thought to the prison situation here in the U.S. The population is outgrowing the prison space, so we're having to build more prisons. While we can't prevent people from committing crimes, there are some solutions. Well, first of all...I need to state that I am for capitol punishment. Some people just deserve to be killed. I also need to state that Jeff disagreed with my solution..even though it's way out in left field and would piss a lot of people off. Realistically, it'll never work and there's a lot of holes in the plan...but it's still a good idea.

We should give everyone in Australia a year to find somewhere else to live and then turn Australia into a giant prison colony. Historically, that's what it was anyway...so it seems fitting. We wouldn't even have to put them in confined cells. We could just let them all run around and kill each other...so the problem's solved!! Plus, if they tried to escape, where are they going to go? They're surrounded by shark infested waters. If they tried to leave..I'd just look and them and say.."Go ahead."...then I'd make bets with other people as to how far he'd make it before he got eaten or he drown. Hopefully he'd be a pedophile who was just badly mauled by a shark and would pray for death long before it found him. Oo..or maybe be molested by an octopus or a swordfish. Eeewwww..how gross would that feel having your ass penetrated by a fat squid tentacle after he'd made you his bitch?!

Anyway..There are a lot of holes in the plan though. It'd have to be all male or all female because otherwise you'd just be breeding a total criminal population. Unless you had them all fixed. Also, if you let them run around and kill each other, there would be no way you could have guards to monitor them...because they'd get killed too. Without guards, you'd have no way of knowing if they built a boat and escaped w/o being eaten. I'm sure there's other holes in my logic, but it's too late to think of them. I mean come on...I'm talking about being raped by a damn squid! I need to go to bed..shew! Alright, I guess I'll make like a bread truck and haul buns!!..I'm out..DL

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