Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Eh..Life can suck sometimes

Ok, so a quick recap of the past couple weeks since I don't have much time..I got home in about 20 minutes. I found out Kelly had been sick and may have ..or may have had...mono. :/ Poor thing...I miss her. She's wearing herself out w/ work and the gym and stress over Tim leaving..all just my opinion, but I wish I could do something for her.

I've still been slaving away at work...reading and listening about everyone else being pregnant..except for me. Jeff's cousin's wife is pregnant, my cousin Meredith is expecting in August, a ton of celebrities are pregnant, a friend of Hannah's is pregnant...if I remember correctly, an officer here just had a baby, brooke's sister in law is pregnant.'s really disheartening to hear that all these women are having babies and I'm not. Every time I hear of someone else being heart aches and feels as if it's dropped right through the floor and left a big empty hole in my chest. I want to be happy for them, but my own despair greatly overshadows the joy I know I should be feeling. Jeff has no idea what I'm going through..nor would he understand it. I know he's being as supportive as he can, but I just wish he would do everything he can to make this happen just like I have been. I guess I shouldn't assume he isn't, but I suppose I'm too busy wallowing in self-pity. I feel like a failure.

Brooke said that it'll happen when I least expect it and that it'll happen after everybody else has their babies so that all the attention can be focused on me. I just don't feel like my doctors are doing enough to help me. They just put me on meds, tell me to have lots of sex and that's it. No checking to see if my tubes are checking to see if the meds are overstimulating my ovaries...nothing. How many different doctors do I need to see before I get some damn help?! Sigh...

Anyway..that's all that I can think of that's been going on..I just wanted to give a quick update before I forgot!

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