Friday, January 26, 2007

Mr. Limpet's Horror

Sigh..This week started out rather stressful. For one, Farley has a UTI, but that's another blog for another time. If you read my blogs, you'll know that last summer, my albino oscar died and that the other one had been sick. Well, Sunday I noticed that he was looking really really really rough, so I thought it might be time to put him out of his misery. I didn't see any other option since I've been treating him for Hole In the Head Disease for about 1.5 years. So, I took him out of the tank and left him in the sink to die...kinda like Terry Schiavo. Cruel, I know, but I couldn't bring myself to chop him in half. If you know me, you know I get upset if I accidentally squash a woolly worm.

I sent up a silent prayer for forgiveness and walked away. I returned almost 10 minutes later...and he was still trying to suck air. Oh God..the horror!! He jumped and his little fin raised up and then fell lifeless against his side. I started bawling and prayed for him to die, but then I just couldn't do I put him back in the tank where he started swimming around. So basically, I caused him 10 minutes of solid unnecessary torture. I decided I was going to make one last stand as I was quite sure Mr. Limpet was looking down on me in shame and revulsion.

I set up a smaller quarantine tank which required the purchase of another filter and I bought medications, water conditioners and feeder fish as a treat. Upon setting up the 20 gal. tank, I failed to realize the water was too warm and when I placed the bags of feeder fish in the water to adjust the temperature before dumping them, I essentially cooked them. Only 10 out of 24 survived. What the hell, man? Maybe aquatics isn't my thing. Anyhow, I cleaned the big 75 gal. tank, replaced filters, adjusted my water quality, added medication and cleaned all the decorations only to have him die later the same day. Damn it all!

I might as well have flushed that $100 down the drain in place of my fish. He didn't get to ride the porcelain expressway to fishie nirvana. He also didn't get a coffin or proper burial, but was unceremoniously placed in the trashcan in a ziploc burial shroud. So sad. I couldn't bury him since my dogs would surely dig him up the next chance they got and I just couldn't let that happen. Should I ever be reincarnated, I'll come back as a pet fish as punishment for my deeds over the past week. If I could have flushed him, I would have, but that's just not possible with a 9 inch fish.

To my ill fated fishie, so long, and thanks for bein' a fish.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Early Morning Romp In the Snow

At about 4am this morning, I couldn't sleep, so I got up to do some banking. Yeah, it's lame, I know..but essential. After an hour or so, I walked through the kitchen and looked out the door to discover it was snowing!! Woo hoo!!!! Big ol' fat daddy flakes too!! I guess it'd been doing it for an hour or so. I took a bunch of pictures then realized that I'd better bring Jazz in since the door had fallen off her dogloo. How appropriate she she should have one in this weather.

Lucky got his first taste of the snow too. We've had him for almost 3 years, but this is his first snow. North Carolina hasn't really had a winter for several years. He freaked out as most cats do when their feet get wet, but then he took off and explored. I got Jazz and brought her in to eat around 5am. She ate and then had to do her business, so I took her back out. I should mention here that all I had on was a t shirt, thin cotton pants, beat up tennis shoes, no socks and a thin jacket. I figured, she was just going to pee and I'd be right back in. I returned to the door and took her leash off to let her in, but she bucked and tried to run. I grabbed her collar and she did her neat little spin in a circle trick to try to apparently break my I was forced to let go and off she ran. I should also mention that it's still dark outside, she's a black dog, I own 10 acres and we have no fence. This was going to suck.

I briefly heard a rustle in the woods then went to get a flashlight. I kept calling for her and making my way to where I'd heard the leaves crunch and then stopped to listen. Nothing. No cars. No wind. No leaves crunching..not even my breathing. No Jazz either. Only the gentle sound of snowflakes hitting the trees. It was as if time stopped for a minute just to let me enjoy the very rare quiet I get in if that whole moment was just for me. I've never experienced such quiet solitude, but in that moment, I was completely at peace. Then I was pulled back to reality as I remembered why I was standing in the woods in little more than my pajamas. "Jaaaaaazz!" Nothing. Crap. I walked a little deeper into the woods and heard the far away crack of a hunter's gun. What sane person would be out in the woods, in the snow this freakin' early in the morning?!! Oh right. Me.

What seemed forever later, I trudged back in the house to get Jeff. It was about 6am and his alarm had already gone off once, but I still felt bad for getting him up to hike through the snow. He dressed and we headed back out to continue the search. I'm still in not much more than my pajamas, but I added a hat, socks, gloves and scarf to make it a little more comfy because I had
no idea how long we'd be out there. I went back into the woods where I got tangled in a sticky bush..aka..thorns from hell. It was like the Devil's Snare scene from Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets. No matter how I moved, I only got more tangled...and unlike the movie, light didn't work. I was beating the branches w/ my flashlight while cursing and Jeff's going.."Jaaazz! Dana? Jaazzzz!! Hey Dana, what's going on? Jazzzz!!!" I replied..."Ow! #*$)@ sticky @!&$ bush!! Jaazzz! @*!$%# branches!! I'm !@$#% stuck!! Ow! !#*&;@*%..Jaazzzz!!! %$@#! @&*% ass..gasp...I'm freeee! Jaaazzzz!"

At this time, I hear branches moving and something I moved my flashlight towards the noise and didn't see anything. The sound became
warped and no longer sounded as if it was in front of me, but behind me, so I turned around and around again until finally Jazz about knocked me over, but since my light was in the other direction, I didn't see her and it kinda scared me. A big furry beast had now plowed into me and what if it's not Jazz?! Thank God it was, but it was strange how the sound warped like that. Now I understand why it's so easy for people to get lost in the woods.

So anyhow, now we had her on a leash and headed back inside. We both went back out to take more pictures because hey, who knows when we'll get snow here again. The other dogs got their play time in and Henry and Hershel, my gnomes looked to be enjoying the weather. Henry was taking a hike and Hershel had already started shoveling the wal
k. For once, they're behaving and not stealing my underpants.

At 6:30, Jeff decided he was going to go ahead and get ready for work and left not long ago. I tried to get him to take a day off so we could play in the snow, but he can't since he's the boss. I apologized to him for waking him up, but at the same time, I rather enjoyed my romp in the snowy woods. It was kinda like Narnia. Anyway, I got to enjoy the snow while it was still coming down, before anyone else was even aware it had snowed...except that hunter. It was just a small appreciation for the beauty of nature and Jazz let me experience that. I'd never have gone outside if she hadn't run off. Even being cold was fun. I love cold weather anyway, so a big snow always makes me happy!! I could have done without the sticky bush, but all in all, it was fun and made me feel like a kid again.

It's becoming daylight now and the snow has changed to sleet, so I got to enjoy it while it was good. It was that really good snow too...the kind that crunches under your feet and packs really well into a snowball. I threw one at Patches who then just looked at me indignantly. Faith tackled me. Jack just ate the snow. Hershel did a faceplant after Faith knocked him off his rock. He'll make me pay for that with 2 pairs of underpants, but it was worth it. Alright, I'm off to reheat my coffee and curl up with a good book for awhile. I hope everyone else got some snow to enjoy!!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Illegal Parking = FELONY + Ruined Life the past few days have been rather interesting here at work. This student is going to be expelled and charged with a felony for parking where he wasn't supposed to. Extreme, right? Wait till you hear the rest.

This 22 yr. old I'll call "Bob" had his high end expensive car towed last Tuesday b/c he parked where he wasn't supposed to. He'd had multiple parking citations and tows before, so they towed him again for being a habitual offender. Since he'd been towed in the past, Bob went out to our car compound and slipped between the post and the fence to retrieve some items from his vehicle and then left. While he was there, he checked out the rest of the facility.

Fast forward to Saturday. We got an alarm around 2am at the compound. The Lt. went to check it out and found everything secure. An hour later, we got another alarm..again, everything secure. Sunday morning, dayshift went to let in the tow truck driver to pick up a different vehicle and he notices that the Mercedes wasn't there and had been the day before. You can see where I'm going with this, right? So..after some tracking, they call Bob. Bob claims the car was never towed and it's been in his possession the whole time. Uh huh.

Eventually, Bob admitted he went back Saturday, slipped between the post and the fence, cut a link out to remove the lock and drove the car back to his parents house in Raleigh. This was the first alarm we got. The reason it looked secure was because he'd bought a duplicate lock to replace ours no one even knew the difference until they tried to open it Sunday morning. Clever little bastard. It's like MacGyver gone bad.

The officer told him he'd charge him with a misdemeanor trespassing and property damage if he'd sign a statement saying what happened. Bob's supposed to come tomorrow to take care of the tow fees and such. Well, Bob's dad didn't have a clue what was going on. Today, the Lt. called Dad to make sure the car was where Bob said it was. Bob picked up the phone and kept clicking so they couldn't talk and was yelling about how it was his business, blah blah blah. Sooo..Bob got busted by Dad and then called us threatening to sue for invading his privacy. But, what he'd done was stolen a car and delivered it to his dad, which puts him in possession of stolen property.

The Lt. then called the Capt. and told him what was going on and the Capt decided he wanted him charged with a felony for stealing the car. The Dean of Students has also already started proceedings to have him expelled. Even if he wasn't expelled, the program he's in won't allow him to get his license to practice if he even has a misdemeanor on his he's completely screwed himself over just having his car towed. He should've just paid for the tow and be done w/ it. He only owed $260 total. That includes current and past fees. Also, another reason it was towed was because it had Ontario, Canada plates on the car that had expired back in 1994. ?? They also found multiple other plates in his veh that he apparently used as swap outs....thinking they wouldn't be tracable to him. They weren't stolen, so I guess he bought them online somewhere.

All this started because he refused to park where he was allowed to and decided to continually park in reserved spaces. What a dumbass! Dude, grow up and take responsibility for your actions! It is not OUR fault that YOU screwed up. You ruined your own life, we had nothing to do w/ it. We just did our job, that's all. Go cry to daddy. Oh wait, you can't...because he won't hear it either.

Anyway..I just thought I'd share a work story since it's so nice to report someone else's drama for once!! Doesn't it suck for Bob though!! Ok..back to work!!