Friday, December 29, 2006

Tithings of Comfort & Joy...(long)

Ah..what a busy year it's been. I started it off in Jacksonville, FL for New Years and then it was followed by kidney stones, medical bills and lots of other traveling. Roanoke, Myrtle Beach, Richmond, Gatlinburg, Charlotte, Harrisonburg, Wilmington...I'm sure I'm leaving a city or two out. My sister's wedding was also planned this year. Hectic with dress fittings and toast writing, this year felt like a whirlwind.

The Bachelorette party was incredible. My sister has such wonderful friends. We went to Myrtle Beach to celebrate the passing of her singleness and had a lot of fun and alcohol. Kelly had been so stressed over the wedding planning that she was about to rip her hair out. It was great to see her laughing again and completely letting loose. She definitely needed it!

Six weeks after the bachelorette party, Kelly got married. I came up a few days early to help out. We had to put chair covers on in the reception hall, decorate tables and clean up while the florist was doing his thing. That was an all day thing. The next day was filled with fighting mall traffic for pantyhose, getting my nails done and trying not to ruin them while I got ready for the rehearsal. I tripped going up the stairs by the way. I almost cried watching dad walk Kelly down the aisle. The church was if you're getting married..go to Grandin Court Baptist up in Roanoke. Then it was off to rehearsal dinner at the Roanoker where Kelly gave us these gorgeous garnet and white gold necklaces. I'm still wearing it actually.

Jeff couldn't make it to the rehearsal or dinner because of a shipping issue I had. Let me go back a bit. I had a bizarre dream that I don't remember, but as soon as I woke up from it, I knew exactly what I was going to say for my sister's toast. The short version is that life has many roads and to navigate them, you need a compass. But, a compass is no good if you can't see where you're, I was going to give Tim a compass and my sister a light. I shopped around until I found a beautiful compass that I had engraved. I paid for it on the 9th to include 4-6 day shipping. I figured I'd give it an extra 2 days to account for the engraving, but by the 18th when I hadn't received it, I started freaking out. She told me it was being sent USPS and gave me a tracking number. I told her I needed it by the 21st since I was going out of, she pulled it and sent it UPS 3 day. When I looked it up on the 21st, it said the shipment had been voided. ?! WHAT?! I flipped out and called Jeff. My very resourceful and dedicated husband, found the right tracking number where she'd pulled it yet again and sent it UPS 2 day air, so it was set to arrive on Friday the 22nd. He had to wait for it to arrive before he could leave and it didn't get there until 3:30 that that's why he missed rehearsal and dinner. anyway, that night I didn't sleep a wink because I was agonizing over exactly how to word my toast and if it would come out ok. The morning of the wedding, we went and had our hair done and got back to the house with enough time to do make-up and get to the church by 1:30. We got dressed, took a ton of pictures and before we knew it, it was 4pm. I did not trip walking up the steps this time and Kelly looked absolutely stunning. The ceremony was quick and laid back. Woody did a great job of officiating. It was followed by more pictures then a limo ride to the reception hall. The jr. bridesmaid and groomsmen were adamant they were riding in the limo, so we had to make some adjustments. Hannah, the jr. bridesmaid was so excited she could barely contain herself all day. It was almost to the point of being really irritating, but she was also just so completely cute, you couldn't help but smile at her childish wonderment.

The reception was a blast. The food was phenomenal and the hall was gorgeous. The Christmas tree was 10 ft. tall with 1300 lights, glass engraved keepsake ornaments, 2 dozen roses and crystal beading. All the wedding gifts went under the tree and there were 5 columns with greenery and lights. There were also massive rose bouquets that were to die for. I cried when Dad and Kelly danced to "I loved her first" by Heartland. Dad was crying and so was was just such a touching moment, I cried. I also got to dance w/ Jeff to our song and got to see my 85 yr. old Grandma dance to Rapper's Delight. It was a trip! She was tearing up that dance floor. I'm so glad I got pictures! Grandpa just had a great time laughing at her. They don't get out much, so it was nice seeing them have a good time. My toast turned out very well and I think they liked it. My voice was a little waivery, but it was good.

After the reception, we cleaned up and then Jeff and I went to the Grandin Theatre to see A Christmas Story on the big screen. I was so tired I slept through most of it, but I woke up for the good parts. They gave out door prizes and free Ovaltine. Rock!

Christmas Eve was a late party at Jeff's brother's and a late stay at the Omlette Shoppe. Christmas Day was full of house hopping and present opening. I had a lot of fun just being with family though. Tim's a great addition and suits my sister wonderfully. I really liked having him there with the family on Christmas. It felt complete. Maybe it was the contentment of knowing the wedding came out perfectly and we were just very relaxed after a stressful year. Either way, I felt very blessed to be there with my family. I loved watching our god-children open their gifts and seeing the look on Jeff's aunt and uncle's faces after we left our yearly prank in their yard. That was priceless! But next do you top a farting dog??

Kelly and Tim left for Hawaii on the 26th and I'm anxious to see how they're doing. I hope they're safe and having fun. I miss her. I hope everyone else's Christmas was just as wonderful and that you all had safe travels!! To Kelly and Tim..Congratulations!!! I love you!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I know..I know... since Myspace sucked me in, I've neglected posting blogs here. They're all on my Myspace page. Most I've duplicated here. Or copied them there from here. So I'm essentially running 2 blogs, which is totally stupid. However...this page is much more accessible and goes down less often than Myspace. So..that being said, I think I'm going to continue posting blogs here and then on on Myspace, post a small notification that my blog has been updated here. That way I'm not copying and pasting all the time.

I'd also like to start printing these off and keeping a hard copy. What if the website goes down forever...that's my life that disappears. I've kept journals for years and since blogging's just easier to do it online...but I'd still like to have it. It'll take forever to get them all printed, but what else have I got to do at work?? Well..back to hunting for a misplaced Christmas gift...ugh.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Monday, December 18, 2006

More Weirdness

If you read my earlier blog "Through the eyes of an old man" about having a strange vision/dream, this won't be too exciting. I've had some more unusual things happen in my sleep. I was dreaming the other day that I was floating on my pillow in the middle of a body of water and brushing my teeth. Yeah..I know..I said WTF too. Anyway, when I was getting ready for work later that afternoon, my toothbrush wasn't in it's holder. ?? I had no idea where it was. It turned out to be lying by the kitchen sink. Um..ok. Am I sleepwalking now? I don't remember ever getting up.

Last week, I also consciously remember getting up to use the bathroom..remember the walk in there and the walk back to bed, but I was dreaming at the same was never broken and I was able to finish it when I went back to sleep. Another unusual happening is that I've seen about 4 or 5 shooting stars in the past 3 months. Normally you'll see one every few years or so. It makes me wonder if it's all connected or if I'm just crazy.

I've been having more I guess what you'd call "psychic" episodes recently. Going to answer the phone before it rings, etc. There's been a few more instances, but as I said in my prior's late (or early) and I'm realllly tired. I'm sure I'll think of them I'll update then.

Some Things I've learned

I haven't posted a blog in awhile..what with kidney stones, holidays and Kelly's I figured I'd name a few things that I've learned over the past 30 years and 1 month. Ugh..saying I'm 30 still makes me wince. Anyway..on with my life lessons...most of which I learned the hard way and most of which can be applied to the "bigger picture".

Never pass up an opportunity to use the bathroom.

Most everything you do, takes twice as long as you think it will...especially if it involves a bank or the government.

If you dance while doing chores, don't turn the music up so loud that you can't hear when someone comes home. This is how you get caught.

It doesn't matter if you use 1 or 2 ply toilet paper...your ass won't know the difference. (Thank you Fruitcake Lady!)

Bitching about having to do something doesn't make it get done any just shut up and do it. The bitching wastes energy that could be put towards getting it done faster.

Even if gas were $10 a gallon, It's worth it if the trip lets you spend time with the people you care about and create memories. In the end, all you'll have is the memories. As my grandfather told me..."When you're old like me and the only place you can go running is through your memories, you'll be glad you have them...whether good or bad."

If someone says something stinks and they ask you to smell it for verification..say no...just take their word for it.

People who say sex isn't an important part of a relationship are just trying to make themselves feel better about not getting any.

There is nothing in life so depressing that a wet puppy nose can't fix.

No matter how old you are, an inappropriately timed accidental fart is still funny as hell.

Never take the small things for granted. ---Ex: AC, heat, swallowing or peeing w/o pain, breathing through both nostrils, being able to get the idea.

Learn whatever you can from your grandparents about your ancestry. One day they'll be gone and those stories could be lost forever.

Sometimes...a PB&J sandwich, a Disney movie and a roll down a steep hill are all you need to feel at peace again.

Ok..I'm's almost 5am and I can't think of anymore right now. I'll add more later. Feel free to add your own life lessons in comments.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Bobcats, deer and cows, oh my!

Originally posted Nov. 25, 2006 9:30 pm

Today was a day of strange sightings. On my way to work, only a couple miles from the house, I see 3 bobcat cubs run across the road. I slowed down and a 4th one almost ran in front of my car. He turned back to hide, so I'm hoping he made it across ok and rejoined his family.

They were adorable!!! Like leopards without tails. I've looked at pics of bobcat cubs and these looked a little different. Their spots were larger and more distinct and their fur was darker..and there were no little tufts on the tops of their ears, but they may grow into that. They honestly looked more like leopard cubs that bobcats, but I know there wouldn't be any leopards in the wild in Nowhere, NC. Ocelots maybe??

There is a Carnivore Preservation Trust outside of Pittsboro, NC which is near where I live and they raise wildcats...I wonder if they're missing any Just seeing them put a huge smile on my face b/c you don't see that every day. It may sound cheesy, but I'll treasure that memory for a long time to come.

Anyway, I got maybe a mile further up the road and saw 7-8 deer right at the edge of the road munching on grass and then about 4-5 more across the street from them doing the same. None of them were trying to hide, or got freaked out by the cars...but I'd never seen so many in the same place before.

Once I got out on the busy road leading into Chapel Hill, it was dusk and getting harder to see. I saw what I swore was a moose crossing the road and standing in my lane, but it turned out to be a cow making a mad dash to freedom...and an almost certain death if she didn't get out of the road. I turned around and went back to get the nearest address so I could notify highway patrol, and she was just standing in the median eating grass....I guess it was greener on the other side of the road. Ok..that was soooo lame, but I couldn't help it.

I'm not sure what the deal was with all the animals in the roadway trying to cheat death, but it was an interesting day. I may call the Preservation Trust just to let them know there's a few cats running wild and maybe they can find and protect them. I couldn't live with myself if I killed one with my car. I'm such a sap and get upset if I accidently step on a caterpillar or smoosh a ladybug....which reminds me...what the hell is the deal with them all trying to move into my house?!?! They're everywhere. They were even in my sister's house...and Hannah's...and Brooke's. I heard it's the sign of a bad winter. We'll see.....

Friday, November 24, 2006

Through the eyes of an old man

This afternoon as I was slumbering, I had a brief supernatural and unexplained occurrance. I had what you could call a vision or an out of body experience. No joke.

As I began to drift off, the image in my head faded from the black screen of my eyelids to a quiet picturesque country road. It was mostly dirt and gravel covered by fall leaves. I was slowly traveling this road lined by trees while looking through the windshield of a car. Then I realized I was looking at my driveway. As I looked out the windshield, my glance fell upon the hands on the wheel. They weren't my hands, but those of an elderly man. He had an inexpensive silver watch on his left wrist and the cuffs of his shirt were a brown plaid and frayed from frequent wear.

As I pondered over the hands that weren't mine, I rounded the turn in the driveway and slowly made my way up the hill avoiding the potholes. My house came into view and I pulled the car up to park next to my little Nissan.

I should mention that through this whole dream, I was still lucid and aware that I was dreaming. I was conciously trying to hold the vision in my head so I wouldn't lose it, so as I parked the car, I thought.."Oh..someone's here, I'm about to have company". I opened my eyes and got out of bed. As I was dressing, there was a knock on the door.

I opened the door and there was an elderly man there, probably in his late 60's , early 70's wearing a silver watch and brown plaid shirt with frayed cuffs. He'd stopped to ask about the lot for sale next door. How long it'd been for sale, why it was being sold, if there'd been anyone looking at it, etc. He was a very sweet grandfatherly type man who was looking for a place to happily live out his years in peace.

Why I had a vision through his eyes, I'll never know. It could have been a warning that someone was coming and I was in danger, but I didn't get that feeling. Maybe I was supposed to help him or maybe he was supposed to help me, but it will be a mystery forever. Or maybe not. Maybe the reason will present itself later, but I doubt I'll recognize it by then. It was definitely an experience I'll never forget.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Quickie B-day update before dinner

This will be short and I'll give all the details later! This past weekend was awesome!! I was in Myrtle Beach w/ my sisters and her friends for her Bachelorette/Birthday Party Weekend. We shopped, we ate (a lot), we drank(a lot) and laughed almost nonstop the whole weekend. Kelly loved the scrapbook we all did for her and had a great weekend too. She definitely needed to unwind and let go after the stress of planning a wedding.

I temporarily forgot it was my 30th b-day, but after we got dressed in our "clubbing" clothes and I realized I was the fattest (and oldest) one there, I got a little depressed and mourned the loss of my youth, but that was short lived. I was the designated driver that night b/c I have another kidney stone and didn't feel like alcohol would help the situation...but I was comfortable with that role. I was watching out for my baby sister..making sure her naughty bits didn't accidently get exposed to a grubby guy looking to get lucky.

There was a time when I was the one all the guys tried to grind against on the dance floor, but that time has passed and now it's my sister and her friends. It was hard seeing that at first, but I'm ok now. I've moved on to a more motherly kind of role where I'd rather take care of my sister than worry about whether men think I'm doesn't matter anymore. I have the man I want, he thinks I'm hot and that's all that matters. With that said, I'm going to go so he can take me out for my birthday dinner and then come back to curl up on the couch and watch a movie. Maybe I'll get lucky....again ; )

Thursday, November 02, 2006


In honor of my upcoming birthday and to all other Scorpios out there, here's my "Scorpio Sun Sign Profile"!!

Scorpio is the eighth Sign of the Zodiac, and you shouldn't take that lightly. You shouldn't take Scorpios lightly, either. Those born under this Sign are dead serious in their mission to learn about others. There's no fluff or chatter for Scorpios, either: these folks will zero in on the essential questions, gleaning the secrets that lie within. Scorpios concern themselves with beginnings and endings, and are unafraid of either; they also travel in a world which is black and white and has little use for gray. The curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable, which may be why they are such adept investigators. These folks love to probe and know how to get to the bottom of things. The fact that they have a keen sense of intuition certainly helps.

It's the Scorpion which symbolizes Scorpios, and it's no accident. Much like the Scorpion would rather kill itself than be killed, those born under this Sign are the ones who are in ultimate control of their destiny. It is life on the Scorpion's terms, too, since these folks promote their agenda (they are quite the executives) and see to it that things go forward. Others may find this overbearing (it can be) and even self-destructive, but that's the beauty of the Scorpion: these folks have tremendous regenerative powers, much like the literal Scorpion can lose its tail and promptly grow a new one. Fearless Scorpions rarely lose, per se, they just keep on going, since they are stubborn and determined to succeed (this Scorpio trait is in keeping with the Fixed Quality assigned to this Sign). Scorpios work as hard as they do so they can someday sit back and feel satisfied with themselves. These folks are intense, passionate and filled with desire. They're also complex and secretive, so don't expect to get much out of them, lest they become suspicious and exit stage left. It's best not to bet against Scorpios, either, since these folks are surprisingly resourceful.

Scorpio is ruled by the Planets Mars and Pluto. Mars was the God of War in ancient Roman mythology and is the first (and most ancient) ruler of Scorpio. When Pluto was discovered in the 20th century, it was also assigned to this Sign. Pluto was known as the God of the Underworld in ancient Roman times, so when coupled with Mars, expect some intense energy to head toward Scorpions here on Earth. This planetary combo makes for people who are motivated, penetrating and aware. Scorpions don't miss much, since they are highly attuned to the vibrations of others. They are intuitive, probing and very focused on knowing who's who and what's what. Scorpions can lose their temper (and even become vengeful) when someone gets in their way, so it's best to give them plenty of room. Remember, they're unafraid, and a loss today simply means an opportunity for victory tomorrow.

The Element associated with Scorpio is Water. As opposed to the 'roiling seas' seen in other Water Signs, a better motto for Scorpions would be 'still waters run deep.' Those born under this Sign are as emotional as their waterborne brethren, it's just that they're not as likely to show it. The Scorpio's emotions are repressed, kept under cover. Again, secrets to be used another day. That said, be aware that these folks are clever, perceptive and always in the mix. Their ability to see into things can sometimes be a curse for Scorpions, however, since they can take an insignificant matter and turn it into a huge slight. Beware the Scorpion who feels crossed! These folks can turn vindictive in no time flat. Luckily, once Scorpions catch their breath, they will return to their usual determined and loyal (albeit strong-willed) ways. Finally, while Scorpions aren't above some subtle manipulation to get what they want, they'd much rather take a scientific, even mystical path. The Scorpio-born are powerful and passionate, qualities which serve them well, as long as they don't let them deteriorate into self-indulgence or compulsion.

Scorpios love competition in both work and play, which is why they'll air it out in sports and games. Extreme sports are right up the Scorpion's alley, as is most anything which will test their mettle. They've got to have an adversary, since it makes the game that much more fun. The Scorpion's colors? Powerful red and serious black. When it comes to love, though, Scorpions soften up a bit and are caring and devoted with their lovers, even if they do hold on a bit tight. Scorpions are also lusty in the extreme (how else?), so they need to be mindful of their reproductive organs.

The great strength of the Scorpio-born is in their determination, passion and motivation. Scorpions don't know the word quit, which is why they usually get the job done. A powerhouse? Like no other.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Moove People! Moove!

Random bit of useful information that was just relayed to me....

Did you know that in NC, you can get a DUI if you're riding a horse, a lawnmower, a motorized wheelchair, and a donkey...but you're ok as long as you're riding a cow. A cow people. A freakin' cow. A heffer. A bull. Or if you watch Veggie Tales, a cebu!

So we can saddle up old Bessie and head back home from the bar. What the hell kind of sense does that make?? I'm not sure if that applies to the entire state or if it's just in Chapel Hill. I'll have to look into that.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

All Hallows Eve

I realize I've been a slacker as far as updating everyone on my life..not a whole lot to report just now. We went to Gatlinburg 2 weekends ago and had LOTS of fun and laughs, then went to a family reunion this past weekend. I'll give details another time, but right now I want to discuss Halloween. I have to work it...again. This is my 6th Halloween here and I've only had 2 of them off. Here's the news article to explain it since it does a better job than I could.

Fright night on Franklin Street: a haunting tradition on Chapel Hill's main drag

Oct 30, 2006 : 8:17 pm ET

CHAPEL HILL -- Police Chief Gregg Jarvies can remember his first Halloween on Franklin Street. It was 1972, and he was a UNC student.

"Halloween mostly consisted of costume parties at the local bars and fraternities and dorms," Jarvies recalled. "The people in costumes on Franklin Street would just be there because they were walking home."

These days, Halloween on Franklin Street is far more than just students walking to or from parties. It's the party itself.

Tonight, about 50,000 people are expected to gather in the street for the annual spectacle. It's not an event the town or university set up. It just kind of, well, happens.

"There's no advertising done for it," said Robert Humphreys, a longtime Chapel Hill resident and the executive director of the now-disbanded Downtown Commission. "In fact, the only advertising that is done for it would seem to discourage people from attending, explaining they have to park far away and ride a bus in. But it doesn't.

" No other event -- except, perhaps, for UNC men's basketball championship celebrations -- draws so many people to Franklin, Chapel Hill's main street. Yet longtime residents and officials are unsure exactly how Halloween got so big, or what the draw is.

As Jarvies noted, people, mainly students, first began gathering on Franklin in the 1970s and 1980s, more as a means of getting to and from parties than anything else.

Humphreys was in the Jaycees, and would walk home from volunteering at a haunted house they organized.

"We noticed there were a lot of people on the street in costume," he said. "We thought, 'Wow, this is kind of cool.'

"Apparently, a lot of folks shared that sentiment.

As the population of Chapel Hill grew, so did the crowds on Franklin. People learned that downtown was the place to see the most interesting costumed characters.

By the mid-1980s, people started gathering on the sidewalks about 9 or 10 p.m., and those in costumes would parade down the street, Jarvies said. Back then, of course, people would remain mostly on the sidewalk, he added.

By 1990, the Chapel Hill Police Department was sending extra officers to Franklin to keep the crowds out of the street. A year or two later, police barricaded off parked cars to prevent rowdy revelers from damaging them. Soon after, the police prohibited parking on Franklin on Halloween night.

Then, by the early- to mid-1990s, the police were closing off a portion of the street altogether.

"We actually had to block traffic," Jarvies said. "The crowds got so big we could not keep them out of traffic anymore."

Since then, the number of people coming downtown has grown and grown. In 2003, when the holiday was on a Friday, around 60,000 came to Franklin for a party that lasted until past 2 a.m.

About seven or eight years ago, Jarvies said, MTV named Chapel Hill one of the top places to be on Halloween.

Every year since, people come from across North Carolina and surrounding states to visit Franklin. Busloads of students from other colleges show up each year.

This year, police expect around 50,000, and have planned for a record 400 officers to provide security.

For the first time, police on horses and motorbikes will patrol, and a longer stretch of Franklin -- between Roberson and Raleigh streets -- will be closed. Shuttles from four park-and-ride lots will take busloads of people downtown.

The police are setting up checkpoints, and any part of a costume that could be used as a weapon is forbidden.

The celebration has evolved into a two-fold event. In the first part of the evening, families tend to gather on the sidewalk, watching the beginnings of the crowd form. But as the night goes on, the children go home and the street becomes filled with university students and out-of-town visitors. The crowds, at times, have grown so big that people can barely walk.

Jarvies said he thinks the number of people has leveled out. But police expect more in two years, he said, because Halloween will be on a Thursday, traditionally a party night for college students. Despite some violence in recent years, for Humphreys, it's all in good fun.

"I've only missed one in 25 years," he said. "I hated to miss it, but I was on a cross-country trek."

Tonight, we've had 11 EMS calls back to back...all for alcohol poisoning and a drunk girl who fell and busted her face. We have no more EMS units to send..they're all on calls. So, we keep getting calls for EMS and have no one to send..sooo..the officers are yelling at us b/c EMS hasn't gotten there, like it's my fault or something. We also had a foot pursuit.

I can't forget to mention that tonight they wanted to switch over to the 800 mgh radio system. They gave them to the officers on Franklin St. and gave us a handheld radio to monitor, but never bothered teaching us how the radio's operate. All the regular shift officers are still on our old they have no way to talk to the guys who are out on Franklin St. Nice, huh? While I've been typing, we've had 3 more EMS calls, a fire alarm, a fight in progress and so much garbled radio traffic I have no idea if I have everyone where they need to be. There's also the issue of all the streets being blocked off around Franklin creating a crapload of detours and traffic nightmares.

Last year, they said that would be the last year. 70,000 people + alcohol ended with stabbings, shootings, muggings, etc. I'm not sure why they expect less people this year, but they more than doubled the amount of officers out there and only gave us one more person. Three people in here to handle 50+ officers, 25 security guards, 5 parking control guys and 20 hired security monitors on only 3 frequencies..on 2 different separate radio systems. Sigh...and the shift is only half over.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Man Flesh!

My dad told me about this over the phone since the teacher is from his hometown. How crazy is this?? His home town is so tiny, you never hear it in the news...unless it's just bad news. I got this off of

Teacher charged with disturbing corpse in century-old vault.

The Associated Press
October 06, 2006
It's not anything anyone would call school-related

A high school science teacher is charged with breaking into a century-old funeral vault, handling the remains of a corpse, and taking photographs of two students holding the bones inside the crypt.

Authorities have charged Candace Longworth, 31, of Bastian, with a felony charge of disturbing and defiling a dead person from a place of burial and two misdemeanor counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The teenagers have been charged as juveniles.

'It's not anything anyone would call school-related,' said Tazewell County Commonwealth's Attorney Dennis Lee. 'It's just bizarre.'
Longworth has been suspended from her job as a biology and earth science teacher at Rocky Gap High School in Bland County pending the outcome of the legal proceedings, according principal Robert Morehead. She is scheduled for a preliminary hearing Oct. 23.

Longworth could not be reached for comment.

Lee said the Sheriff's Department began an investigation after it was contacted by the school administration when least one of the two teenage girls began showing pictures of herself inside the vault holding the bones.

The vault, which is partially below ground, is in a cemetery in Pocahontas, a town on the West Virginia border established in 1884 for 114 coal miners killed in a mine explosion.

Authorities allege the teacher and students entered the vault through a large crack. No bones appear to have been taken, Lee said.

Pocahontas Mayor Anita Brown said the town has taken steps to restore the historic cemetery. She said she was attempting to contact descendants of the person buried in the vault.

The felony charge against Longworth carries a sentence of up to 10 years in prison.

UM.. ok..what was the teacher thinking? Dad said there were rumors that it was a civil war soldier grave and that they'd broken into it, stole his boots and put them on Ebay. Now that would've added some real spice to the if there wasn't enough. Here's another news story from

Bland County teacher charged with defiling Pocahontas grave

Richlands News-Press/Clinch Valley News
Tuesday, October 3, 2006

TAZEWELL - A Bland County high school teacher faces criminal charges in Tazewell County that she defiled a century-old grave in the Pocahontas Cemetery.Commonwealth's Attorney Dennis Lee said Candace Lee Longworth, 31, of Clear Fork Creek Road, Bastian faces a felony charge of disinterring or defiling a dead person from a vault, grave or burial place. Longworth also faces two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Lee said an investigation by Tazewell County Sheriff's Detective Tom Reid indicated that Longworth and two students visited the cemetery and found a grave that was over 100 years old which had either been opened by someone or by nature.

Lee said Longworth - a biology and earth science teacher at Rocky Gap High School - and the two youngsters entered the grave and handled the bones but didn't remove them from the cemetery. He said their actions gained attention when another teacher saw pictures of the students with the bones and reported it.

Longworth is free on bond and awaiting an Oct. 23 preliminary hearing. Neither Bland County Superintendent of Schools Don Hodock nor Rocky Gap Principal Robbie Morehead was available for comment on Longworth's status as a teacher.

Now see, that headline made it seem as if they broke into Pocahontas' grave and messed w/ her opposed to being in Pocahontas County. Misleading, if you ask me.

When Dad told me about this, I had images of people sneaking into the grave w/ black hoods and long draped coats made of human flesh. That seems morbid, but when I think of the back of the coat having hairy man nipples and a happy trail leading past a belly button on it, it makes me laugh. Alright, well I guess it's morbid that I would laugh at that, but I have a strange sense of humor. There is absolutely no point to this blog. I just wanted to share the story. I guess I should've put that at the beginning, huh? Too bad! You read this whole story and you're about 2 minutes closer to becoming a coat of flesh yourself!! Muwaaaahhhhahahahaha!!!! I hope when that time comes, no one takes pictures with your bones.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

One Past Uranus

So I heard the other day that they've decided to out Pluto as a planet. C'est vrai! Pourquoi?? Je ne comprend pas. They said it didn't fit in with the other planets because it rotated on a more elliptical orbit instead of round, so they're saying it's not a planet. Mmmmkay...based on this theory....the little nerdy guy back in high school isn't a human....because he didn't fit in with the others. Those little nerdy guys are the ones who became astronomers, astronauts and physicists.

Poor little Pluto. They also said that other objects have been labeled planets and they took the titles away because they had no atmosphere. Um..they had just said before that comment that Pluto had an atmosphere. Ok, so the rules don't even apply to Pluot b/c it's such an outcast. That's messed up. It's been out there by itself in the cold desolate expanse of space anyway...and now it can't even call the solar system "home".'s truly alone..sniff, tear..
What acronym are they going to teach the kids now?? They can't use the old one anymore since there'll be no pizza at the end of it. Will it just stop at "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nice"? That makes no sense. " Nice what?" "Nothing..there's nothing there." Yes there is...there's Pluto!!

I vote we make Pluto a planet again, but since my vote doesn't count for crap, I vote we come up with a very cool new acronym to teach the kids on how to remember the planets. Like, Merv's Vulcan Ears Moved Jim's Servile Unicorn Nowhere. No? Any suggestions??

Port City to House of Blues!!

Originally posted 9-16-2006

I wasn't sure which catagory to put this under since I was at a work conference...but the only part worth writing about involved alcohol, so it goes under nightlife. There were some neat classes..but it got in the way of the drinking and dancing. I'm not a drinker..but if it's free..stand back people! I drank every night this week. Wednesday, I had something called a Capecod and then 16 Buttery Nipples. I'm surprised I didn't turn in to one...much to Jeff's disappointment I'm sure.

I met some awesome people and had more fun than I've had in awhile. Anyhow, Brooke, Robbin, Amy and I tore up the dance floor on Wednesday and went to bed wayyyy too late. I miraculously avoided a hangover so I was ok. We discussed skinny dipping, but figured that since our room overlooked the would many others and we didn't want to get in trouble w/ the know how it is.

We left the next morning and they dropped me off at IBM where Jeff and I turned around and headed to Myrtle Beach to see Rusted Root. We shopped a little, had seafood for dinner and then hit HOB for some rockin' music. The opening band was great, but nothing compared to RR. They sound even better live.

We danced and watched others as they twirled around to the sounds of a true jam band. It was here that I learned something Jeff has tried to explain to me for years-- Dancing has little to do with moving your ass to the exact beat of the song so that you look appealing to the opposite sex. It's all about how the music makes you feel..even if it's loosely based on the rhythm of the song. There may be a small underlying beat to the song that no one else can hear..but you FEEL it..and go with it...probably coining the phrase, "dances to different beat". You can call it hippie dancing or whatever..but it felt great to do it! I one gives a shit what you look like out'll never see them again.

They played from 10 until about 1:30 and then after our eardrums were murdered and a short walk on the beach, Jeff and I drove home and climbed into bed around 5:30am. I'm exhausted and have to work a weekend that I should have off...but it was a hell of a week and I wouldn't change a thing. Well, except I should have at least flirted with that hot guy that was there. OH..and missing my friend Eric's concert on Sunday...If you're reading this...again..I am SO sorry. I will see you guys play though! We'll be back soon! I really need to get back to work...such as it is...I can at least pretend something's going on. Hmm..maybe I can try to find that hot guy here on MySpace....

Rusted Root, Baby

Originally posted 9-1-2006

Woo Hoo!! September 14th at the House of Blues, Baby!! I'll be there!! They're also playing at the Cat's Cradle in Chapel Hill on the 12th, but I'll be at a conference in Wilmington. The 14th is the day I'm scheduled to come home, but we made plans around it.

So far the plans are that I'll come back from Wilmington, meet Jeff at work then leave for Myrtle Beach. We'll shop a little, have dinner and then watch the show and come home afterwards. At least I get to sleep the next day before work...Jeff will only get 3 hours before he has to get up..but it's Rusted Root!!! So worth it!!

I missed them last time b/c we didn't know about it soon enough and I couldn't get off work. Not this time!! My tickets are on the fridge and my calendar is marked!!! I'm so excited I think I may do the dance of joy!!

First Autumn-like day...

Originally posted 9-1-2006

Today was awesome. The perfect day as far as I'm concerned. It was in the mid-70's, very windy, overcast and damp. To most of you, I'm sure that sounds like a dreary, depressing day, but those kinds of days are when I feel most content. I actually got upset when the sun came out for a bit. I opened the bedroom window and listened to the wind whip through the trees and the raindrops fall as the sky teased with rain. I snuggled further under the covers with my pillows all around and just smiled as the breeze fluttered across my face and through my hair. The only other sound was Farley batting at the blinds trying to get up in the window to look out.

For awhile before I went back to bed, I just stood outside on the deck in my pajamas and let the wind tangle my hair while the dogs played in the grass. It was completely silent except for the wind through the trees. No cars going by, no planes flying over, no lawnmowers mowing, no dogs barking or people's like the world was holding it's breath waiting for the rain to come. Or maybe they were enjoying the silence as much as I was and didn't want to disturb it. Either way, it was a perfect day for me.

I slept all day as usual but got up a little early to go back outside. I took my time driving in to work so I could enjoy the weather as I drove. There's just enough chill in the air to make me wish Jeff were here so we could cuddle. Anyhow, I just thought I'd mention my very peaceful and content day. After a typical NC summer, today was a blessing!

Daddy's Little Girl

Originally posted 8-28-2006

I heard this poem/story on the radio the other morning and I teared up even though I don't have a daughter. Maybe I teared up because I am a daughter and thought back to my own first day of school and how my parents must have felt. those of you who have daughters or are a daughter...I hope you enjoy...and try not to cry if you're reading this in the presence of others...I dare you.

Trust You'll Treat Her Well

by: Victor Buono, Source Unknown

Dear World:

I bequeath to you today one little girl ... in a crispy dress ... with two blue eyes ... and a happy laugh that ripples all day long ... and a flash of light blonde hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well.

She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning ... and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine. Prim and proud she'll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say "Good Bye"... and walk with little lady steps to the schoolhouse.

Now she'll learn to stand in line ... and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She'll learn to tune her ears to the sounds of school-bells ... and deadlines ... and she'll learn to giggle ... and gossip ... and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy across the aisle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she'll learn to be jealous. And now she'll learn how it is to feel hurt inside. And now she'll learn how not to cry.

No longer will she have time to sit on the front porch steps on a summer day and watch an ant scurry across the crack in a sidewalk. Nor will she have time to pop out of bed with the dawn to kiss lilac blossoms in the morning dew. No, now she'll worry about important things. Like grades ... and which dress to wear ... and who's best friend is whose. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her blocks and dolls. And now she'll find new heroes.

For five full years now I've been her sage and Santa Claus and pal and playmate and father and friend. Now she'll learn to share her worship with her teachers ... which is only right. But, no longer will I be the smartest man in the whole world. Today when that school bell rings for the first time ... she'll learn what it means to be a member of a group. With all it's privileges. And it's disadvantages too.

She'll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud. Or kiss dogs. Or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms. Or even watch ants scurry across cracks in the summer sidewalk.

Today she'll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. And I'll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on the long, lonely journey to become a woman.

So, World. I bequeath to you today one little girl ... in a crispy dress ... with two blue eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long ... and a flash of light blonde hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well.

Snakes on a Kung Pao Chicken

Originally posted 8-19-2006

Last night was awesome!!! Jeff and I made reservations at P.F. Changs and had one of the best meals I've had in a long time. We ordered potstickers..which are veggie/meat dumplings for those of you who don't know...but they were fried instead of steamed like we asked...we'd already started eating them before we realized we got those for free. Then they brought us the steamed we got 2 appetizers for the price of one. Sweet!! The Kung Pao Chicken was incredible and Jeff's Beef Szchwan definitely woke up the taste buds! The dessert was the best part though..banana rolls. MMMMMM!!!! Two bananas sliced in quarters, rolled in a pastry and deep fried, served on a bed of caramel around a scoop of pineapple & coconut ice cream and topped off with fresh berries. OMG..I'd kill my own mother for this stuff!!! A warning..I do NOT recommend taking a sip of a Pear Mojito after a bite of the banana's way too sour and a real kick in the pants! The Mojito was very very good too..I was impressed. The mint and lime were more prevalent than the pear, but you could taste enough of the pear for it to be enjoyable.

After dinner, we went to see Snakes on A Plane. Ok, I admit I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of going, but I loved every second of it! Samuel L Jackson is just...well, a genius. The movie was filled with his classic lines he's known for...such as...."I'm tired of these MF'N snakes on this MF'N plane!!" as well as people getting bit by snakes in unfortunate places and a dog who meets an untimely death. You have to go into it not expecting much. If you're expecting a straight up action/ won't be disappointed, but you can't take it seriously. It was hilarious watching people fight snakes...not scary..much. There were a few moments that made me jump. The sheer anticipation as you watch a snake slither unnoticed by someone's head and then coil to attack great.

This was just a fun movie to go see. Most movies you see require the audience to shut up so you can pay attention...this isn't one of those movies. The audience cheered and clapped at the high when Sam Jackson uses a stun gun to zap the snakes..or the snobby rich girl's dog getting eaten by the huge snake..or the couple in the bathroom getting bit while having sex...there's oh so many moments like this and I was thoroughly entertained the whole time. I don't want to say too much and give away the best parts! It's very cheesy...but really well done and just so...FUN. It lived up to all the hype that's been made about it so I apologize when I said it was going to suck. It didn't. It rocked!!! Go see it!!! NOW MF'R!

Remember the Constitution??

This is an article Jeff found and posted on his rocks! Also, the Federal District Court Judge ruled that the NSA Warrentless Wiretapping program Bush unconstitutional. SWEET! I'm glad someone has some common sense! Enjoy!

The US Constitution: Anybody Remember It?

by: Trisha Shore

Its a quaint little document, really. One of its major problems, of course, is that it was written by white males and as everyone knows, there must be ethnic and gender diversity in anything worth keeping these days. And so it goes out the window, this little document thats been holding our country together for a couple of hundred years or so.

I say good riddance. Why, really, do we need something that protects us, for instance, from searches and seizures that are unwarranted? So many of us sheep, really, are thankful that our Masters protect us from the big, bad, ugly terrorists. Nobody thinks anymore that our Masters should be protecting us from, well, from our Masters. Some of the used-to-be-sheep have figured out that maybe, just maybe, those delightful, deceitful Masters of ours have actually allowed such atrocities as the whole 9/11 thing to happen.

Nonetheless, it was a quaint document, that Constitution. It said something about how the peoples right to be "secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized." In other words, someone cant just go x-raying my underwear at random, unless my underwear has been doing something it shouldnt. There needed to be, in the days of the Constitution, some probable cause that my underwear was guilty of something. Guilty these days means that you ride the subway or board an airplane.

Yesterdays government-schooled children, who have now become obedient adults, think its entirely reasonable to submit your keys and pocketbook to be searched. The police commissar, excuse me, commissioner of New York City, claimed, evidently with a straight face, that "common sense prevailed" when Manhattan subway riders were subjected at random for searches of their private property. "At a fitting moment," commissar explained, "the court upheld the constitutionality of the bag inspection program, one of our key strategies for deterring a subway attack." Evidently a key strategy for dismantling the Constitution as well. But really, whod notice?

When the recent supposed terrorist attack plot resulted in people who had to give up their bottled water and wine before boarding an airplane, we are now expected to acclimate ourselves to the new travel restrictions. Jamie Bowden, a former terminal manager at London's Heathrow Airport, said the new rules may be here to stay. "I think certainly here in the U.K. and certainly in the States as well, people are now getting used to kind of a new way of travel . . . I think, although the airlines certainly don't want these kinds of restrictions, if they believe through government intelligence that it's much safer to fly like this, that may be a new way that people are going to have to get used to flying."

A new way, indeed! And people have been primed for such searches by allowing attendants at such fabulous places as Disneyland to perform cursory searches of our belongings. Our children are being conditioned to believe that our private property belongs to everyone.

The airlines are supposedly independent entities, but the reality is that they are partially funded and controlled by the government. They have every right to ask passengers to do whatever they wish; passengers have every right to take another form of transportation. The problem with this latest government intrusion on airline travel is that no one seems to be complaining. Maybe our Masters are seeing how far weve drifted into servitude.

As some have suggested, perhaps the next step will be for our Masters in the TSA to ask us to travel nude. Oh well. Whatever! say the sheep, who are afraid to seem baa-aa-aad to government officials. Those officials tell us over and over, and we believe it, that if we have nothing to hide, we have nothing to fear. The propaganda is working. Most people interviewed by mainstream media seem happy that their sodas are being confiscated: A college counselor made the inane statement that the loss of liquids via TSA search is "part of the price you pay for traveling during a time like this." Yes, in post-Constitutional Amerika.
I should have known we were in trouble a few months ago. I read a story in the Raleigh News and Observer regarding sobriety checkpoints for cars. But its unconstitutional! I wrote the author of the story. To his credit, he was also under this evidently arcane belief, the idea that the U.S. Constitution has some degree of influence in our society. But an overwhelming majority of his readers told him that to question the Constitutionality of checkpoints was to endorse drunk driving. Oh, brother! Or rather, Oh big brother!

And so it should not have surprised me when I found out that people who had to throw out their bottled water before boarding a flight deemed it merely an "inconvenience." And they actually believed that somehow, throwing out that water would save their lives.

A little note here: When I spent a summer in Manhattan during college, I had a boyfriend who used to fly from North Carolina to New York to visit me. He used to bring a certain herb that our Masters have deemed illegal. Personally, I always thought it quite odd that our Masters could tell us what we could and could not grow on our own property. Nonetheless, he brought some of this herb when he came to visit me. He has gone on to be a father, and a husband to someone else. And I have gone on to be a mom, and a wife to someone else. Neither of us has time to fret much about that particular herb anymore, but neither have we nor anyone else suffered one iota from his bringing it on the airplane. A few years later, bottled water is now deemed illegal to bring on an airplane. Yes, bottled water. Do I want my progeny to grow up in a country that has limited so much freedom in so little time?

I have little hope for the sheep of this country, few of whom seem to be noticing that our Constitution, the basic document of freedom for our country, is becoming what George Bush said it was a few months ago: merely a piece of paper.
So it goes. But if the supposedly freest country on earth is no longer free, where might those of us who truly love and believe in freedom place ourselves? Please let me know. Im longing to visit my dad and my friends in North Carolina soon. And I dont want to submit my bottled water to a TSA screener.

A Tribute to Dispatchers

One of my co-workers posted this on his blog and I thought it would benefit others to read it and understand what I do for a living..

A TRIBUTE TO DISPATCHERS By Chief Thomas Wagoner, Loveland Co. PD

Someone once asked me if I thought that answering telephones for a living was a profession. I said, "I thought it was a calling."

And so is dispatching. I have found in my law enforcement career that dispatchers are the unsung heroes of public safety. They miss the excitement of riding in a speeding car with lights flashing and sirens wailing. They can only hear of the bright orange flames leaping from a burning building.

They do not get to see the joy on the face of worried parents as they see their child begin breathing on its own, after it has been given CPR.

Dispatchers sit in darkened rooms looking at computer screens and talking to voices from faces they never see. It's like reading a lot of books, but only half of each one.

Dispatchers connect the anxious conversations of terrified victims, angry informants, suicidal citizens and grouchy officers. They are the calming influence of all of them - the quiet, competent voices in the night that provide the pillars for the bridges of sanity and safety. They are expected to gather information from highly agitated people who can't remember where they live, what their name is, or what they just saw. And then, they are to calmly provide all that information to the officers, firefighters, or paramedics without error the first time and every time.

Dispatchers are expected to be able to do five things at once - and do them well. While questioning a frantic caller, they must type the information into a computer, tip off another dispatcher, put another caller on hold, and listen to an officer run a plate for a parking problem. To miss the plate numbers is to raise the officer's ire; to miss the caller's information may be to endanger the same officer's life. But, the officer will never understand that.

Dispatchers have two constant companions, other dispatchers and stress. They depend on one, and try to ignore the other. They are chastened by upset callers, taken for granted by the public, and criticized by the officers.

The rewards they get are inexpensive and infrequent, except for the satisfaction they feel at the end of a shift, having done what they were expected to do.

Dispatchers come in all shapes and sizes, all races, both sexes, and all ages. They are blondes, and brunettes, and redheads. They are quiet and outgoing, single, or married, plain, beautiful, or handsome. No two are alike, yet they are all the same. They are people who were selected in a difficult hiring process to do an impossible job. They are as different as snowflakes, but they have one thing in common. They care about people and they enjoy being the lifeline of society - that steady voice in a storm - the one who knows how to handle every emergency and does it with style and grace; and, uncompromised competence.

Dispatchers play many roles; therapist, doctor, lawyer, teacher, weatherman, guidance counselor, psychologist, priest, secretary, supervisor, politician, and reporter. And few people must jump through the emotional hoops on the trip through the joy of one callers birthday party, to the fear of another callers burglary in progress, to the anger of a neighbor blocked in their drive, and back to the birthday callers all in a two minute time frame. The emotional rollercoaster rolls to a stop after an 8 or 10 hour shift, and they are expected to walk down to their car with steady feet and no queasiness in their stomach - because they are dispatchers. If they hold it in, they are too closed. If they talk about it, they are a whiner. If it bothers them, it adds more stress. If it doesn't, they question themselves, wondering why.

Dispatchers are expected to have:
-the compassion of Mother Theresa;
-the wisdom of Solomon;
-the interviewing skills of Oprah Winfrey;
-the gentleness of Florence Nightingale;
-the patience of Job;
-the voice of Barbara Streisand;
-the knowledge of Einstein;
-the answers of Ann Landers;
-the humor of David Letterman;
-the investigative skills of Sgt. Joe Friday;
-the looks of Melanie Griffith or Don Johnson;
-the faith of Billy Graham;
-the energy of Charo;
-and the endurance of the Energizer Bunny.

Is it any wonder that many drop out during training? It is a unique and talented person who can do this job and do it well. And, it is fitting and proper that we take a few minutes or hours this week to honor you for the job that each of you do. That recognition is overdue and it is insufficient. But, it is sincere. I have tried to do your job, and I have failed. It takes a special person with unique skills. I admire you and I thank you for the thankless job you do. You are heroes, and I am proud to work with you.

Chief Tom Wagoner, April 12, 1994

No AC & One Less Mouth to feed

If this week were erased from time, I wouldn't miss it. Sunday, our AC went out again...that makes the 4th fan in 4 years we've had to replace. It has something to do with the power flickering and causing surges..but it sucks. Also, whenever it gets really hot outside, or it rains..or gets too cold..our phone line goes out. Sprint can never find the they suck.

Monday, I felt sick..I couldn't keep anything down and I had a throbbing headache..this lasted through Tuesday night. The house was up to 92 degrees, so I'm sure that didn't help. I ended up curling up in the floor of the office since it's the only room w/ AC. We have a window unit in there due to the heat that the computers put off..think of it like a server room. Tuesday night, my kick ass husband got the AC while the house cooled down, we went out to dinner. When we got was cooling off and I was actually able to sleep. Ahh.....AC is the best invention ever.

Today, when I got up to get ready for work, I made sure all my animals had food and water and when I checked on the fish, one was floating belly up. He'd been sick for a LONG time, so I was wondering how long it would take. Last August, they both got sick and I've been treating them ever since...but realized a month or 2 ago that I can't afford to keep treating them. The oscar that lived has a few spots on him, but he's doing alright. Damn hole in the head disease. So..I have one less mouth to feed and being that he was about 8.5 inches long and weighed about 1.5 lbs...that's a substantial amount of food I'm saving! It was still a sad day though..he was a cool fish.

Even though this week sucked, I've had I guess I can't complain too much. I have a weekend off to look forward to..and date night with Jeff! Woo hoo! We'll go to dinner...probably either at Maggiano's or Ted's Montana Grill and then go see Snakes on a Plane since Jeff's been waiting on it to come out for months. Hmm..Firebirds Rocky Mountain Grill sounds good too though..or P.F. Changs..or Rockfish Grill....there's also a Cheesecake Factory there...hmm...can you tell I'm hungry?!?!

Even though Rockfish Grill is incredibly yummy...out of respect for my dead oscar, Hoover and to honor his memory...I think I should avoid eating fish this week. I also had to move my fish to a tank that wasn't on the kitchen counter b/c I didn't want them to see the slaughter of salmon and flounder while Jeff and I cooked week after week. Think of the horror that those little fishy eyes beheld due to my careless placement of the fishtank. C'est la vie. It is too late for regrets now. Ah well..time to get back to work. Au revoir will be missed..though I won't miss you biting the hand that fed you.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Amusement Park of the Damned-Part 2

Alright..I promised the conclusion of our day at the Amusement Park of the Damned and here it is. We get to the parking lot and Jeff cursed at a passing SUV that almost hit him. Actually, he walked in front of it and got pissed when it didn't slow down. I'm not exactly sure what he said, but I know I defininitely heard him drop the F bomb. We get in the car only to have to wait in another line to get out of the parking lot. Jeff hops on the GPS and begins searching for a place to eat.

We were supposed to meet up with my cousin Megan for dinner since she's moving to NYC in a few weeks, but she never called us back. So, he wanted to go somewhere nice since our day had been hell. We ended up choosing Southend Smokehouse and Brewery. Smokehouse...meaning..ribs..and could you go wrong???

We got there and let me tell was incredibly awesome!! Jeff couldn't decide on what kind of beer he wanted so they brought him a sampler tray of their beer. Ten 5 oz glasses. And he got a full rack of ribs that I loved watching him eat. Something's just so sultry about watching him lick the sauce off his fingers.........whew..I'm sorry...what? Where was I? Oh yeah..dinner. Anyhow, the meat just fell off the bone. Very excellent..I highly recommend them. There's one in Charlotte, Raleigh and Charleston,SC if you're ever around to go try them.

After some lighthearted dinner conversation, we got back on the road towards home. As we headed up I85N, we saw some fireworks. We watched with awe and realized these were no dinky backyard fireworks, so we got off the next exit and parked on the bridge behind a line of other cars who'd stopped to watch the awesome display of firepower. It lasted about 25-30 minutes and was one of the best fireworks shows I've ever seen. The only one I could think of that topped it was Disney World. We were truly impressed to say the least. It was a rather cheerful end to an otherwise crappy day.

The trip home was filled with giggles brought on by exhaustion and random stories that had me laughing. Then Kelly and April nodded off and I struggled to keep my eyes open. Once home at midnight, we all took showers to wash off the day's disappointment and filth and crashed. Crashed hard. I went to bed with wet hair, so I woke up looking like the bride of Frankenstein. I don't think we even got out of bed until around 11am. We may have eaten..I'm not sure..but I know I napped from about 1pm until around 4. Jeff slept until around 5:30 and we got up and had dinner. Then we were in bed again by 11:30 pm. Yep..we're some wild ones.

Yesterday, Monday, I had to mail Kelly's cellphone back to her and get dog food. Other than that..I did one load of laundry and read a book between naps. Then I came in to work at midnight. Yawwwnnnnnn. I'll need a month to recover. All I can think of right now is my massive bed with all my pillows and my cutie of a husband all curled up looking innocent and sweet...which is the only time he ever comes close to being that way. Well, he can be sweet, but he's a long way from innocent. Yawwnn..Ok..time to go. I can't think straight and this may make no sense at all later.

Amusement Park of the Damned

Originally posted on July 16, 2006 at 1132am:

My sister Kelly and her friend April came down for the weekend to go to Carowinds with us. We were all excited about riding some coasters and relieving some stress. So, on 4 hours of sleep, we got up Saturday morning and hit the road at about 8:30 which put us at Carowinds at about 11am. To start things off, we had to hunt for a locker to put all our stuff in. The only one we could find was in the waterpark section and a huge sign told us it had to be out by 7pm. At the time, we thought.."Oh..that's plenty of time!"

After paying $10 and cramming all our stuff in the locker, we headed for some rides!! Since the Top Gun coaster was closest, we went there..only finding that it was shut down for some unknown reason. Being disappointed, we headed for the next one. We get to the kiddy section where they have a rollercoaster that dumps water on the people below you and's hot and the water would feel pretty good, so we got in line. We waited 30 minutes and got close to the front of the line when they shut it down for no real reason. Nice. We also realized, this water ride wasn't allowed to use water because they'd decided to put the Latino Festival tents just below it. Nice again. At this point, we'd been there an hour and hadn't ridden anything.

Also, because of our location in the park and the frustration of waiting in line for rides that aren't open, we missed our free lunch buffet which is the only reason that we decided to go on this particular day. So, next we passed a ride called the Goldrusher which is just the cheesy family rollercoaster, but we wanted to ride on we went. It wasn't bad for a little coaster and it lightened our moods just a little. While on this ride, I realized I already had blisters on my feet. I wore my old Teva sandals that used to be the most comfortable shoes I owned, but since I hadn't worn them in about 3 years, they rubbed my feet in the wrong places. So, I have blisters and we're just on our first ride. Ugh. After this, we headed to the Vortex which is the standing coaster. We stood in line for an hour in the blistering heat waiting to get on. No shade, no fans, no breeze, no clouds. They did serve slushies and lemonades to us though...for $3.75 a piece. This time we made it and got a whole 60 seconds worth of fun. One second of fun for every minute we stood waiting. In the end, it was worth it.

Since the Borg Assimilator was right next to it, we headed there to find out that it too was closed. She told us it was going to be awhile so we went across the way to the log flume. Now, the Borg is the tallest coaster in the park and has the most loops, corkscrews and drops of any in the park. Not to mention that you're lying flat on the track as if you were needless to say, this is going to be the longest line in the park. Anyway..we headed to the log flume and before we crossed the entrance, they were letting people through for the we headed back. When we get there, she tells us that no loose articles are allowed on the ride and we'd have to put our stuff in a locker before we could get on. Um..I was wearing the traditional nerdy buttpack of all amusement park goers..which is not a loose was attached, but she wouldn't let us through. At this point, I yelled a profanity and walked off. Jeff was in quite a sour mood by now and I couldn't even get a smile out of him.

I'm not sure what happened next..I think we decided to hit the water park for awhile to cool off and figured that by the time we were done, it would be dinner time and the lines would be shorter. So, off we go to Boomerang Bay so I could change into a bathing suit and jump in the water. The biggest reason we wanted the water park is because none of the heat relief stations were working. No misting stations or fans anywhere in the park. Only the drink machines selling a bottle of water for $3.75. I also wanted to go to the water park since our locker was here and it meant I could change my shoes. At least I was prepared.

After a short wait for a dressing room, I get in only to realize how nasty this place is. There's no AC in the bathroom at all, just a dinky fan and the dressing rooms are set up just like restroom stalls only w/o the toilets. Well, someone apparently was blind and thought the bench in the dressing room was a toilet b/c they shit on it and walked out. May I remind you at this point that there was no TP in the dressing rooms. YUCK. So..I found another one just slightly more clean. Out I go donning my spiffy bathing suit and find Kelly and April. Jeff's decided he's not going b/c he "doesn't do waterparks". He sits in the shade w/ a drink and waits on us. We all decided the lazy river would be really relaxing since we've had a hectic day. Wrong. They had the entrance closed and sent us away since they were using the exit for an entrance. Mmkay. We had to wait in line to get in the lazy river. Then, they let us go around once and herded us out like cattle. There was nothing lazy about it.

So, Instead of waiting in another line, we went to the wave pool. I also burnt my feet on the concrete on the way there. It looked like a sea of could hardly see water. We got in anyway and when you looked around, all you saw was people. You shouldn't have to say "Excuse me..pardon me..Oh, sorry.." while you're walking through the water. I finally knew what it felt like to be floating in the water after the Titanic sank. So we got out feeling rather gross. It was like taking a bath with 200 strangers.

After changing again and shoving everything back in our locker, we headed back to the Borg Assimilator...only we took a wrong turn and ended up at the Cyclone. It was rather awesome. There was no line at all b/c it was at the edge of the park and it was enough of a thrill to make it totally worth it. I highly recommend riding in the very back. Next, we went to the Drop Zone. This is the 100 ft. freefall tower. There wasn't much of a wait and this is the one Kelly and April really wanted to ride the excitement was building. I was absolutely terrified but in the end rather enjoyed leaving my stomach somewhere floating in space.

On our way back to the Borg..we passed the Extreme Flyer. It was only $15 a person, so Kelly and April headed in while Jeff and I waited. He was still in a foul mood and not very talkative because he felt left out being there w/ 3 girls. That, and everything had gone wrong. After Kelly and April flew and screamed like little girls, we went to the Borg. They let us in this time and the waiting began. At least here, they had cover so you weren't standing in direct sunlight and they had fans and misting stations. After waiting for about 10 minutes, we asked the time. 5:45. Holy hell! We had a good hour's wait in front of us and we had to get back to get our stuff by 7! So, feeling defeated, Jeff decided he'd go get our stuff while we held the place in line.

Just a few minutes after he left, it started getting cloudy and sprinkling rain. People started leaving the line. Then it got really windy and we saw lightning. Uh oh. We prayed it'd hold out for 30 min. until we could ride and hoped Jeff would make it back in time. Then the thunder started. We were sooo close. From where we were in line, we'd make it on the 3rd or 4th train. Then they shut it down. People were leaving and we thought..if we can hold out..we'd make it on the 2nd train when they reopen. Then more people left..and we thought..oo..we'd be on the very next train!! That's when she said it'd be at least an hour and we should seek shelter from the storm, yada yada. I was pissed by now. This was the 3rd time we'd been sent away from this naturally, we asked for a manager.

The manager blew us off with a generic answer, so we asked for his manager. He only knew his first name and said he was busy at the moment. So..April..being the only one professional enough to handle this guy..stepped in and asked if he could find out his last name and get us a phone number. All I would've done is yell at the guy and storm off, which wouldn't have gotten us anywhere. We explained that in the whole day we'd been there, we'd only been on 3 rides. 4 if you count the lazy river. We drove 2.5 hours to ride 3 rides, no heat relief stations, half the rides were closed down when we got there, the water coaster wasn't a water coaster b/c of where they put the latino festival, the water was too expensive, the dressing rooms were nasty, we'd been turned away 3 times from the same ride and we wanted an explanation.

While we were waiting for the guy to find his manager's number, we wondered where Jeff had gone. The manager comes back w/ his supervisor's information and tells us that he's been told to cycle the ride and that he'd cycle twice if we still wanted to ride. I said I wasn't going without Jeff. Kelly and April said they could ride and asked if he'd let Jeff and I up the exit side so that we could ride too and he said no. Bastard. But then, it thundered again and they weren't going to cycle. So we left. We found Jeff sitting in front of the ride where another line had already formed. We got all our stuff and made our way to the exit where there was another line to wait to speak to guest services. Kelly wanted a rain check...but Jeff and I planned on never coming back...and I truly didn't want to wait in another line. Jeff was beyond pissed by now and wanted to..ahem.."punch someone in the neck" so we went to the car. Find out what happened after the park in another blog. This one is too long already.

It was still storming several hours later, so it made me feel better that no one else got to ride any ride for the rest of the day. In summary, don't waste your time on Carowinds. It's dirty and disorganized and so not worth the money. Kings Dominion is better..cleaner anyway but Busch Gardens is by far the best. It's clean and their rides stay open a lot more. Plus..the food is better. Though..Kelly's funnel cake was quite yummy. Stay tuned for the next blog on Southend Smokehouse & Brewery and fireworks!

Broken toe and an enema

Originally posted on July 11, 2006:

Do you realize I've had 2.5 weeks off of work and all I did was go back home? While up there, I celebrated my dad's 60th birthday, tried on bridesmaids dresses, hung out with my sister and parents, took my grandfather to pick up his fracture shoe (funny story), got a mani/pedi, hung out with Hannah, grocery shopped for my grandparents, went to a 4th of July party, went to Hinton, WV w/ Jeff's family, had a 4th of July cookout that involved Dad's moonshine and Grandpa getting lit, watched fireworks, and ate at Texas Tavern. That's just the highlights. I won't even get into details!! Well..except for about my grandpa's fracture. Mom calls me from work Monday and tells me she needs me to go pick Grandpa up so he can go be fitted for a fracture shoe. A fracture?? Why no one mentions these things to me..I'll never know. So anyway, naturally, I ask what he fractured. All she says is, "His toe."

Ok. Help me out here Mom...I hate fishing. So of course I ask, "How'd he fracture his toe?" Knowing he's elderly and can't walk too well, I'm expecting to hear that he tripped or bumped his toe walking to the bathroom in the dark..or fighting evil yard gnomes from setting up camp in his know, just something standard and ordinary. But noooo..this is what Mom said..let me refresh:

Me: "How'd he fracture his toe?"

Mom: "Giving himself an enema."

Me: !!?!?!?!?!!!!??!..Um..??..!?!..?!...Did....did you you just say he broke his TOE himself an enema???"

Mom: "Yes."

Like it was the most normal ordinary thing in the world! At this point, a normal person would just explain what the hell happened. But alas..I was left having to *probe* for an answer. Pun totally intended. After some obvious laughter I said,

"How the hell did he manage that? He does know that's not how you give yourself an enema, right?!"

Mom: "Now Dana, don't you laugh at your grandfather." This is being said while she's laughing. Um..right's no laughing matter.

Long story short..when he was trying to get up from giving himself an enema, he stubbed his toe on the stair that leads up into the shower and put all his weight on it causing it to fracture in 2 places. Now...if it was save my dad the embarrassment, I would've just said he broke his toe after hitting on the shower stair and left it at that. mom..who's telling me it's not funny and not to telling everyone that her dad broke his toe giving himself an enema..which is only half true.

When I asked Grandpa about it, he only said he fractured it hitting it on a stair. He doesn't know I know the whole hearing him tell the Dr. about it..had me laughing b/c I know the truth. HAHAHA. Another funny part was when I asked him straight out how he did it and he told me the half truth, Grandma piped up. Now..anyone who's ever met my Grandma knows she talks constantly. So, she said.."Now Jack, don't you lie to her. You tell her exactly what happened." He still insisted on the stair story.

So, Grandma says, " Well I'll tell you...he was lying in the floor in the bathroom....and your mother and I were upsta..."

Grandpa: "Dammit Anita you shut up!

Grandma:" Well I was just.."

Grandpa: "I said shut it Anita!"

Grandma: "Well you little S-H-I-T..." (my grandmother doesn't curse..she just spells it out because that's ok apparently.)

For those of you who don't know..this is a typical conversation between my grandparents. Though, in her old age, she talks back to him, thus calling him a term for excrement. Before, she'd just say.."Well, I'm sorry." and go about her business. They've been that way since I was a little thing..and it's always a source for amusement while I'm around them.

So for those of you reading this, next time you're forced to give yourself an enema, please make sure your toes are well guarded.

A rant on what irritates me...

Originally posted on June 21, 2006:

Here's my list of things that make me just grind my teeth together in irritation...

People who make mouth noises...slurping, smacking,'s just gross

I hate it when people don't move over for ambulances. How do you know they're not going to save someone close to you, like a mom, daughter, husband or best friend??

I hate it when people see an officer on a traffic stop and don't move into the other lane to go around!! Hey!! It's called courtesy and safety. Try it sometime.

I also reallly hate it when people see an officer on a traffic stop and go up to them and ask for directions. stupid!! They have no idea what that officer is dealing with and they want to interrupt?!? A routine traffic stop can turn into a nightmare in half a second. PLEASE wait until they're done to ask for directions!

People..and I mean family here...who leave the bathroom door open and the light off while they pee..and then act all offended and taken aback when you walk in on them. Close the damn door!!!

People/family who walk in on you while you're in the bathroom after you've closed the door and the light is on. attention!! KNOCK.The door is closed for a reason!

Idiots who speed past you, cut you off...only to slam on their breaks to turn into their driveway...making me have to stop. Where's the sense in that?? Not everybody has to stop just because you are, butthole.

Leaving the kitchen cabinet doors open. It's just as easy to close them people!

People who don't put things up after using them...especially when they had to walk right by where it goes to get where they're going.

People who don't clean up their own messes. I came in to work awhile back and someone had left lettuce, tomatoes, mustard and cheese laying out on the table. The mustard was dribbled all over the counter and the cheese wrappers were all over the place. WTF?? I can't imagine what these people's houses look like! Oh..then..they got mad at me when I threw it all out. I ain't yo mama!

The sticky things they put on DVD cases for security. Ok, so they're wrapped in plastic..then they have the sticky tape crap on all 3 sides...all I want is to watch the stupid movie!!!! Isn't the plastic enough??

Midol wrapped in those individual, childproof plastic things. That is NOT the time of month I want to be trying to break into pain meds! Even scissors barely work! I'd rather take the scissors and stab the person who decided on the packaging !

The Valley View Mall in Roanoke, VA. Who the hell was the genius who designed that place!?! 3 ways in and only 1 way out. The city even has a totally separate evacuation plan for that place. It's a freaking nightmare! Raleigh's got it going on though..they have parking decks that connect to each level of the mall..pretty sweet. I avoid VV as much as possible.

Walmart in general. I hate them. They have just about everything you would want, but nothing you actually need. They're always out of whatever it is when you go. And they're open 24 hrs..only to block every aisle w/ boxes so you can't get to anything you need when you go in at 3am. Sometimes..migraines won't wait until daylight.

I hate it when men pee all over the floor in front of the toilet. I sat down here at work and didn't notice the floor until afterwards. I thought..if that's on the floor..what the hell did I just sit in?!!
When I come into work early to relieve day shift...and then they don't bother coming in until the last minute. What's that all about? That puts me working for like..12 and a half hours. Screw that! When 0615 rolls around..I want to peel outta here and get the hell home!

See and hear your name in Russian!!!

Originally posted on June 20, 2006: have to check out this link!! You get to see and hear your name in Russian. Very cool. It's written in you just have to ignore it and type your name in the box and then click the button below it to see and hear it. Make sure you check your volume first. I was rather impressed and thought I'd share it with all of you guys. Just go here to see it! Enjoy!

Pedophiles to launch political party!?

Originally posted on June 5, 2006:

Check out this article. I was totally shocked. A group of pedophiles is starting a political group in Amsterdam to make the consenting age for sex 12 instead of 16. It also wants child porn to be made legal as well as sex with animals. It's ultimate goal is to scrap the age limit for sex altogether....and saying they are for childrens rights to make their own decisions. Ad Van Den Berg, one of the founders of this "political party",said..

"We want to get into parliament so we have a voice. Other politicians only talk about us in a negative sense, as if we were criminals," Van den Berg told Reuters."

Oh realllly? Yeah, you're not a just molest small children and have sex with the neighbors big deal.

They also say that toddlers should be given sex ed classes and that kids over 16 should be allowed to star in porn and prostitute themselves. They think sex with animals should be legal but that the abuse of them should remain illegal. Oh...and they said they support showing porn on daytime tv with only the violent porn limited to the late evening. AND..they say everyone should be allowed to go naked in public and soft and hard drugs should be legal and that everyone should have free train travel.

Um..I'm not sure where that last random part came from. "I want to have sex with toddlers and sheep..OH..and I want to ride the train for free!" I have never been so shocked by any news story as I was when I read this. They can't really be serious...can they?? If it is, this is what I propose..

We start our own political group stating that all pedophiles have to have a tattoo on their forehead identifying themselves as one and that no crime is illegal when it's done to a pedophile. Sound good? Yep..I like it!! Sign me up!!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Yep..I'm it's bitch.

It's addictive and is sucking up too much of my time. At time's I wonder if I'm being held captive. Call it the Nightinggale Effect, but I can't seem to tear myself away fromMySpaces's firm grip. It started out just as a way to peer into everyone else's lives from behind a one way mirror, but then it snowballed and I have an official MySpace page...complete with comments, music and a virtual pet named Nelly Bean. I am MySpace's bitch.

At first, I had planned on just finding people that I used to be good friends with but just lost touch. Then, I figured, why not say hi to people I went to high school with? So, I now have 36 friends which include a few bands here and there. Most are people I actually know and am glad to know they're all doing well. Some I talk to on a daily basis, but most, it's just through email. What's strange is that the people I've been talking to the most, I wasn't even really friends w/ in high school. One guy who I was friends with, lives only about 25 minutes from me. Somehow a lot of us ended up in NC. I guess that's because it's far enough away from home that you can have your own life, but it's close enough that if you want to visit, you can.

I still find myself searching for a lot of people I've lost touch with. I have no idea where they are or how to get in touch w/ them. My old friend Kelly M...I think she's still in Roanoke, but I don't know how to contact her. We were best friends for years and then just grew apart. I don't dislike her and I hope she's very happy, but it's not a friendship I'd like to rekindle. We're too different now and have nothing in common except the past. It makes me kind of sad to think about it. I also don't have a way of contacting anyone I went to college with....most of them I only knew by first name. I'll keep everyone posted on my progress to find those who are MIA. How the hell do you find someone who joined the military but don't know which branch they're in and they have such a common name, you get over a thousand hits back on it while searching??? If anyone knows..please let me know. Alas..I need to get back to work....I guess that makes me UNC's bitch too.....

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Ghosts and Battleships

WOW! What a whirlwind weekend in Wilmington! We didn't leave until Saturday morning, so Friday night, we went to Applebee's and saw X-Men: The Last Stand. It was really good! Saturday, we got up early, dropped the dogs off and headed to Wilmington. Our first stop was the Battleship North Carolina. We walked around for about 4.5 hours taking pictures and soaking in the history. Totally amazing to see and experience!! Jeff took no less than 4 pictures of my ass while we were on that boat. Some were deliberate, others were just coincidental..but I now have enough pictures to make a big ass collage..literally.

After that, we checked in to a rather crappy Ho Jo and then had dinner at Sticky Fingers...mmmmmm. We made our way into the historical section of Wilmington and parked so we could enjoy a nice stroll down the River Walk. The gnats were horrible!! I was cursing myself for leaving the bug spray in the room. We got in line to go on one of the Ghost Walks and the very nice pirate gave us some OFF spray before the journey. I'll have to condense a lot of this b/c it'll go on forever otherwise.

The Ghost Walk is where they take you on a walking tour of reportedly haunted houses in historical Wilmington. They give you a brief history of the violent/tragic death that occurred in the house as well as recent spottings of that particular ghost. We had several strange things happen on our 2 hour walk of route 8.

We walked past a massive house that used to be an orphanage where several children were killed. The current family accepts the ghosts as part of the family and all is well b/c they're good spirits. In our group of 13, we began moving on to the next house. Jeff and I were taking pictures hoping to get one of a ghostly the rest of the group was ahead of us. They had already crossed the street and were waiting for us. Jeff was in the road crossing and I was still on the sidewalk..glancing back at the house. At that time, the motion sensor light came on. Twelve people had already walked past it..but it didn't come on until I passed it. Interesting. Doing some research tonight, I read that ghostly "energy" seeks out others with a similar or psychic maybe that could explain it. Maybe the kids flipped on the light as a way of saying hello. I also read that people who have been reincarnated carry with them energies of who they used to be, so who knows.

The next house was where a woman had died while giving birth. Jeff got a chill up his spine at the same time our pirate guide introduced a nightly visitor..a cat had walked up behind Jeff and was just standing there staring at us all. The guide says she comes out every time a group goes by...she looks at everyone, then just goes about her business.

The tour consisted of about 8 houses, but the last house was that of Mrs. Love. She supposedly can be seen in her bedroom window dressed in black or white lace while smoking a pipe. The house was up for sale and pitch black..not a single light on. I did notice a black and white cat sitting on a car looking at us, but other than that..didn't notice anything. As we were leaving and I glanced back, I swore I saw something in the corner of what used to be Mrs. Love's bedroom window. I thought maybe it was a reflection off a car going by..or just the angle..but I decided I wanted to go back to look again. Our pirate bid us adieu and we went back..about 3 minutes after we'd left it..and at least 3 lights in the house were on. Strange. No new cars were there.

Our pirate also told us about a cemetery on the corner of 4th and Market St. that he said never disappoints to show you something, so we headed that way for some pictures. A few of the pictures showed questionable stuff, but nothing we could prove. There was a bush that looked like a breeze was moving the leaves, but the bushes on either side weren't moving..and I didn't feel a breeze. Then there's the matter of the streetlamp. It came on after we took pictures for awhile and I told Jeff that maybe the ghosts turned it on b/c they knew we needed more light. When he made a rude comment, the light went out. I said that he was kidding and asked if they could turn it on again...and the light came back on. After a few went off again, so I asked if they could turn it on again, and it came back on.

It could be a coincidence..but maybe not. It doesn't explain mine and Jeff's cameras. Mine quit wouldn't turn I took the batteries out..and it took a picture without batteries..then shut off. After that, it was normal. After Jeff made a rude comment, his quit working and it wasn't until he apologized that it started working again. Hmmm. So, after that, we went back to HoJo and crashed.

Sunday, Jeff took me on a surprise visit to the NC Aquarium in Fort Fisher. It rocked!! It looked very natural and they had a lot of things you could touch, like sea urchins, starfish, crabs, turtles, etc. There was even an outdoor section. I got the number for someone in husbandtries so I could talk to them about finding a home for my we'll see!

When we got home, I crashed...I was so tired..but it was such a fun weekend. I can't wait to go back to go on a different Ghost Walk route...hehe..anyway..that was my weekend!! Yawwwnnnnnn...