Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I married Wylie Coyote

So about the rest of Memorial Day Weekend...Sunday, we got the lawn mowed and Jeff worked on his boat trailer so we can get the boat to the lake. We also decided to go ahead and burn our brush pile in the back yard. Since Jeff knew we were doing this, he got out the chainsaw and cut down a pine tree at the end of the driveway that was leaning precariously over it. He also wrapped a chain around it and pulled the stump out of the ground w/ the truck. In addition to this, he cleared a couple of other little trees that were too close to the driveway and loaded it all up to be thrown in the brush pile. We had a decent pile happening, but not nearly as big as we've had them before.

To set this little story up, I must remind everyone that back in Sept. of 2003, we had a brush pile that was about 8 feet high. While I was in the kitchen, I looked out to see Jeff walking around the brush pile w/ a jar in his hand. He had poured the gasoline on the pile and was taking gun powder and making a trail out from it. ?! His plan was to light the trail of gun powder so he wouldn't have to be anywhere near it when it exploded into flames. So, just before he lit it, he looked back at the window where I stood with an expression that seemed to say.."Are you watching me? watchin'? You gotta see this!" I bent down for just a second to put something under the sink and while doing that, I heard "BOOM!!" I jerked back up to see 10 feet of flames and Jeff beating on his legs. Apparently, he didn't take into account the wind blowing the gas fumes back around him. Freaked me the hell out, but I figured, he's standing, so he must be ok. He came to the side of the deck, where I had run out to see what happened, and that's when I really saw him. He'd been wearing sandals, so all the hair on his feet and calves were gone. His hair and eyelashes were singed. His arm hair was singed. He just stood there shaking. I tried talking him into going to the doctor, but he said he was fine. Within an hour, he had blisters forming on his feet and calves. By nightfall, the burns were a dark purple with puffy blisters. He didn't scar too badly, mostly just on his feet. So anyway..

This past Sunday, he told me he wasn't lighting the brush pile because of what happened last time. He poured the gasoline over the fire and told me to light it. I lit a dried branch w/ dead leaves and was going to throw it on the pile so we wouldn't have to be near it when it caught fire. Well, everytime I lit it and threw it on the pile, it went out before it could ignite the gas. So after 3 failed attempts, Jeff tells me to hand him the lighter and to get ready to run. He gets as far from it as he can while holding out the lighter and he inches up to the pile. He wasn't going to get any closer than he had to. Well..I'm sure you've guessed where this is leading. The fumes had been blown around us, only I was a bit farther back than he was. So, the pile burst into flames and engulfed Jeff, singing off his leg hair again. This time, it was just his right calf and it wasn't nearly as bad as last time. This time, no blisters formed and there's only a couple of small burns on the back of his calf. He's determined that he's never lighting another one, unless we get roman candles and do it from a safe distance. It left the grass slightly burnt in about a 10 ft. in diameter circle around the brush pile. I am glad he's ok, but I just can't believe he's set himself on fire..twice. He laughs about it and is hoping for some more cool scars.

The rest of Sunday was grilling hot dogs, making deviled eggs and eating quite a yummy traditional Memorial Day weekend dinner. Jeff also got the shelves put up in the bathroom. It was quite a productive weekend all in all...with the minor setback of Jeff setting himself on fire again. The only thing we didn't do is set off fireworks. I figured, with Jeff's track record, it might not be a good idea. Until next time...meep, meep!

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