Monday, December 26, 2005

Happy Holidays? NO..Merry F-ing Christmas people!

I don't get it..what's so offensive about wishing someone Merry Christmas? If someone came up to me and said.."Happy Chanukah!"..I'd just go..."Right back atcha and Merry Christmas!" I might as well wish them Happy Kwanzaa too. The point is..I wouldn't care what they said to me...I'd just be pleased that they were wishing me a happy SOMETHING, you know? Even if they just wished me a happy fall on the ice, or a happy trip down the stairs..or even a happy enema..at least they were thoughtful enough to wish me a happy one. I can't stand cards that read Happy Holidays or Seasons Greetings..I'll go out of my way and shop for a week to find ones that say Merry Christmas..just to prove a point.

I'm not ashamed of what I celebrate and I'm not offended if people don't celebrate what I do. I doubt the majority of people even realize that Dec. 25th isn't even Jesus' actual birthday...It's just when we choose to celebrate it. No one knows when his actual birthday is..they picked 12/25 back in the 1800's. There was reasoning behind that date, but I can't think of what it is at the moment. Maybe Jeff will know..I'll have to ask him..he's awesome at remembering that kind of stuff. And Kwanzaa is a man made holiday that started in the 60's. Maybe we should just follow George Costanza's dad off of Seinfeld and celebrate Festivus. Decorate the Festivus pole and sit around the dinner table insulting family. Then 5 years from now we can sit around remembering holidays past and say.."You remember the year grandma broke her hip after doing a striptease around the Festivus Pole? Ah..those were the days."

Mmmkay..I think I may have had too much sugar. Anyhow..I hope everyone had an awsome Christmas or Chanukah..or Kwanzaa..or Festivus...whatever. Mine rocked! The next thing you know, they'll be saying we can't wish people a Happy New Year b/c it's offensive to those who don't believe each year is new..or something equally as stupid. Ok..going to go before I start spouting off again!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

It's a Christmas MIRACLE!!!!!

Do you realize what day it is? Almost 2 months since my last post. I suck. I haven't had any motivation to do anything lately. I'm lucky everyone got Christmas presents at all. We got Kelly a cashmere sweater, a dog cookie making kit, a "Truly Me" perfume sample and a jellybean pooping reindeer. Don't ask. You'd have to see it to truly appreciate it. Nothing says Happy Birthday Jesus like eating a cola jellybean out of the ass of a plastic reindeer. Tis the season, you know. Everyone liked their gifts, but my Dad's was the best! A true, for real, Christmas Miracle.

Last week, I was cleaning out the closet in my old bedroom and planning to bring all that old junk of mine back home. Wait...let me go back a bit....

Dad had rheumatic fever when he was 12 and couldn't get out of bed for 3 months. The only thing he could do to occupy his time was collect baseball cards. His dad, my grandfather, would come home everyday and give him a new pack of cards. He's kept them in an old shoebox since then. They're all careworn but in basically good shape. About a year and a half ago, Mom had decided to have her closet professionally done for storage purposes. She cleaned it out and made a Goodwill pile and then put everything back once the closet was done. Dad had his old shoebox full of baseball cards in there and right after she took all the junk to goodwill, he couldn't find his shoebox. They tore the house apart looking for it and when they turned up empty handed, they assumed she'd accidently taken it to Goodwill w/ all the other stuff. Dad said he was sick to his stomach over the loss of it. That was his childhood in a box..and also included the only pics in existence of my dad as a child. My mom felt absolutely horrible and even I grieved for my dad's loss.

So anyway, I was cleaning out junk and moved a stack of Kelly's college books off the bottom shelf to put on the top shelf where all my stuff had been. I looked behind where the books had been and I'll be damned if Dad's shoebox wasn't sitting right there at the back of that shelf covered and surrounded by other junk. I got sooo excited that I ran and told mom about it and we decided to give it to him for Christmas. I was going to wrap the whole box but Mom said he would recognize it, so we just wrapped one card that she thought he would recognize. Ernie Banks' rookie card. She had wanted him to open it during breakfast at the restaurant, but I told her I wanted him to do it at home so that after he opened it, I could just hand him the whole box..so that's what we did.

When dad opened it and saw the card, he smiled and said it was just like one he used to have in his collection. Before he was finished speaking, I held the box out and was waiting for him to notice it. He turned and saw it and never even finished talking. He took it from me, opened the lid and just stared..he was totally speechless and then just started crying. Not just tear up..but cried..bawled. Me, mom and Kelly had already gotten a little choked up at his silence and when he started crying, so did we. My dad, one of the most controlled men in the world who never really shows serious emotion, was crying. The only other time I saw him cry like that was the morning I was moving to NC to move in with and marry Jeff. So, in my 29 years, I've seen him cry twice and tear up once...that was when I knocked out my front teeth.

I know Dad's tears were happy ones, but it was just such an emotional moment, I'll never forget it and I don't think we can ever top that gift. We even got it on video..although we never expected that reaction. Speaking of Dad, I need to go call him and my mom to wish them Merry Christmas since I didn't get to spend it with them. I'm here at work..surrounded by a deafening silence. Although..in this line of work, silence is good..that means no one is hurt. My next post will be about how wonderful and truly amazing my husband is. His gifts were AWESOME. I'm so lucky to have him...so anyway...Merry Christmas to all...and to all a good night!