Some Things I've learned

I haven't posted a blog in awhile..what with kidney stones, holidays and Kelly's wedding..so I figured I'd name a few things that I've learned over the past 30 years and 1 month. Ugh..saying I'm 30 still makes me wince. Anyway..on with my life lessons...most of which I learned the hard way and most of which can be applied to the "bigger picture".

Never pass up an opportunity to use the bathroom.

Most everything you do, takes twice as long as you think it will...especially if it involves a bank or the government.

If you dance while doing chores, don't turn the music up so loud that you can't hear when someone comes home. This is how you get caught.

It doesn't matter if you use 1 or 2 ply toilet paper...your ass won't know the difference. (Thank you Fruitcake Lady!)

Bitching about having to do something doesn't make it get done any faster..so just shut up and do it. The bitching wastes energy that could be put towards getting it done faster.

Even if gas were $10 a gallon, It's worth it if the trip lets you spend time with the people you care about and create memories. In the end, all you'll have is the memories. As my grandfather told me..."When you're old like me and the only place you can go running is through your memories, you'll be glad you have them...whether good or bad."

If someone says something stinks and they ask you to smell it for verification..say no...just take their word for it.

People who say sex isn't an important part of a relationship are just trying to make themselves feel better about not getting any.

There is nothing in life so depressing that a wet puppy nose can't fix.

No matter how old you are, an inappropriately timed accidental fart is still funny as hell.

Never take the small things for granted. ---Ex: AC, heat, swallowing or peeing w/o pain, breathing through both nostrils, being able to poop..you get the idea.

Learn whatever you can from your grandparents about your ancestry. One day they'll be gone and those stories could be lost forever.

Sometimes...a PB&J sandwich, a Disney movie and a roll down a steep hill are all you need to feel at peace again.

Ok..I'm tired..it's almost 5am and I can't think of anymore right now. I'll add more later. Feel free to add your own life lessons in comments.