Sunday, January 15, 2006

Funny how things work out sometimes...

So..I missed my reunion back at Thanksgiving. I'd been anticipating it for months and wondering what people looked like, but decided it wasn't worth the money. I did want to see my ex-boyfriend Kevin, but didn't go. Instead, I paid the $15 fee for 3 months of access to Classmates and emailed him. I'd been thinking of him frequently for about 6 months before the reunion..don't know why. I was curious how he was doing, what he was doing, if he was happy, etc. He was my first everything, so I have a fondness for him that I have for no one else. I was a little nervous reconnecting with him because it'd been so long, but after a few emails and phone calls, it was like old times.

Back then, we had a habit of talking on the phone for hours. Not just a couple..but like..6 hours or more...and if we hadn't gotten so tired, we would've kept on talking. I remember having 11 hour conversations with him about nothing important. Well...nothing's changed. We still talk on the phone forever. Through these long ass conversations, we've realized that we did nothing but make out back then. Our talks consist of remembering all the places we made out or had sex. We only had sex maybe 3 times in our 10 month relationship because my parents had me scared to death of getting pregnant. Hell..I was 15/16 yrs. old! Dad would've killed me.

We got naked any chance we got but aside from that, we had genuinely good times together and got along very well. I broke it off because I was afraid our relationship would get too sexual and I wanted to experience more in the ways of dating. Looking back, I think I just wanted something new. It had nothing to do w/ Kevin..he was very sweet, generous easy going and a lot of fun. To be honest...I just got bored with him being easy going. He did whatever I asked and never stood up for himself. I wanted more of a challenge. I don't regret dating him and I don't regret getting in touch w/ him again either. He's had a rough 1o years though. He started dating this girl our Jr. year of high school and got her they got married. They now have 2 boys and are getting divorced. According to him..the relationship fell apart years ago but he was so determined to keep his family together, he put up with all her shit.

I feel partly responsible for what happened only because maybe if I'd stayed with him longer than I would've bypassed the time that he hooked up w/ her. I know we still would've split up, but later on and she wouldn't have been an issue. But...if I'd stayed may have been me that got pregnant. Ironic, huh? Was scared to death of getting pregnant and now that I want to, I can't. Life's funny that way..

Jeff's also very cool w/ Kevin and I reconnecting after all these years. That's why Jeff is so awesome...we have such an open and trusting relationship and we both know that the other one is never going anywhere. He knows I love him unconditionally and don't ever want to be with anyone else. I'll always come home to him, no matter how many guy friends I have. I wish everyone could be that confident in their relationships.

So anyway..Kevin and I are planning on getting together for dinner or something when I make it back up to Roanoke. That should be fun...barring his ex finding out and trying to make his life miserable. I'll update later!

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