A Bee-lievable Story.

Today, I had a random moment while outside watching Jeff build the boxes for our raised garden. Jazz, our big black dog snaps at bugs while out in the yard. Sometimes she does it so hard you can hear her teeth snap together. As she laid on the deck, a bee flew by her and she of course started chasing it and trying to bite it. The bee just sort of hovered over the table like it was waiting on something..or looking for something and that's when it hit me. I'd bought geraniums (they repel mosquitoes) last week and moved them inside on some cold nights to avoid frost. I'd forgotten to put them back out. Oops. So, I brought them back out to put them on the table and as soon as the bee saw them, he flew away. I thought it was a little odd that he didn't go right for the flowers but I said goodbye to Jeff since he was headed out for more supplies and went about my business of putting dirt in some pots for my vegetable seeds.

A few minutes later, he came back and flew over the flowers..like he was doing recon or something..and then he left again. Upon his next return..he had a couple of friends. They all just hovered there..watching me. I was right next to the flowers.  I realized what time it was and that I had to get ready for work, so I went in but stayed just a moment to watch the bees. All 3 of them just hovered a few minutes and then landed, hopping from one flower to the next. I couldn't help but giggle. In my mind, I pictured the first bee bragging to his friends about the flowers only to show up and they're not there. He panics..flying all over the place to make sure this is where they'd been. They'll think he's a liar if he doesn't produce the flowers he promised. What if they kick him out of the hive? Then, there they are..as if they'd come out of thin air. He's not sure he believes it, so he does some low fly-bys. Yep..they're real..time to go get the gang. His friends are pleased. Dinner is served..if only the human would leave so they can eat in peace. =)

I love bees. Wait. I love HONEY bees. They're so important. Sweat bees can go to hell. So can hornets, mosquitoes and wasps. I've seen videos of 2 wasps completely destroying an entire hive of bees. =( So sad. Speaking of wasps, we have carpenter wasps at the house. They've dug a fairly deep hole in the wood on our shed. There's another hole in the fence and yet another one on the side porch. I hate them. Bees have a purpose. Do wasps?? I mean an important one. Their purpose cannot be to annoy people. I realize there's a food chain..but would the world really fall apart without wasps? Or mosquitoes? Maybe their only purpose is to feed bats...in which case, we need to start protecting more of them. There's a few at our house. Maybe we can take the wood scraps from our garden frame and build a bat house. Maybe that way the crows won't eat them. I've seen that happen..it really surprised me. The crows went after this tiny bat that was just squealing and they ripped it apart in mid air and devoured it. That happened in broad daylight. Little bat should've never left his cave. =(

Anyway, the flowers are in bloom, the bees are busy and we have apple trees to plant. I'm so excited to try my hand at gardening and I look forward to bountiful crops and my little bee friend bringing more of his friends around. Just so long as Jazz is too slow to catch them.

Milo's Surgery Update

Milo's surgery went great! He had his eye removed, 2 teeth pulled and was also neutered. Here's a reminder picture of what he looked like before the surgery.

Here's what he looked like when we brought him back from the vet.

This is Milo before he went back to the vet yesterday to have the stitches taken out and the cone taken off.

And here he is without a cone and no stitches!!

He was so happy to have the cone taken off! He did have to be taken back to the vet because his eye was bleeding as well as his nose. It's apparently normal and he was ok. We also had to have an extension put on his e-collar because his neck is so long he was still able to grind his eye against the carpet. He was running around playing the same day he got home though.

I have noticed some food aggression...and I'm not sure where that came from. He was fine up until he got back from surgery..so we've got to put an end to that quick.

Milo's Chip-in raised $53 and I sold a few things on Ebay. Thanks to those of you who helped out!!! I love him to pieces and I'm so happy he's doing well! I'll keep you updated!

Milo Update

Fourth of July weekend, Jeff and I headed to the beach for Tucker's annual drunken party. We took Milo and I was so proud of him! We were around a LOT of people..it was loud, chaotic and busy..and he didn't flinch. There were kids carrying him around everywhere and he was ok with it. There were fireworks and he didn't react at all. We walked on the beach and he didn't like the water, but he LOVED running with Jeff in the sand. He's such a great and sociable little dog!

Then..it got weird. I was sleeping one day while Jeff was off running errands and he peed on me! In bed!! That makes the 4th time he's peed on me. The other 3 times were on my foot. I had to completely strip the bed and wash everything..even the pillow top cover. Sigh. No idea why he did it. We haven't had an issue since..at least not dominance peeing. He's still being housebroken, so I expected some peeing..but not ON me. Hmm. Don't know how I'm going to address that. I need to find a reason before I can correct it. I took him on a walk and he totally ignored me but listened to Jeff. The next day, he did exactly as he was told and I had no problems. Before Jeff got home from his 2 week trip, I had no issues...it was only after he got home that he started trying to claim me.

This past weekend, our neighbors had a fish fry. They'd just gotten back from Alaska and had some fresh salmon and haddock. It was awesome! There were a LOT of people and other dogs and Milo did fantastic. There was still loud music, fireworks and a lot of chaos..but he played with the other dogs, let everyone pet him and behaved like he was supposed to. So proud of him!

We've decided to schedule his surgery for week after next, after we get back from vacation. I am concerned about him though because tonight he tried to get in Faith's bowl while she was still eating and she snapped at him. He has a scratch next to his good eye and the white part above the eye is reallllllly red! His eye still responds to light and he can still see..but I'm worried he may lose his vision. Jeff says it'll be fine..that it's just bruised. I'd still rather take him to the vet and have him checked out, just to be sure. I don't know that I have it in me to be a seeing eye person. That's a serious challenge.

Since the incident, he's been extremely submissive. To the point of submissive peeing. He was laying on his blanket and peed while laying there...and then just laid in it. I put him in my lap and while laying there..peed. I went in the laundry room and he followed me in..and peed. Then he walked away with his head down and his tail tucked. He did it again in the kitchen..twice. Then in the bathroom, then at the water bowl and then in the living room. It's not like he's being defiant and going to go pee. He doesn't even take a "pee" stance. He'll just sit there and pee or lay there and pee. We put him in his crate and he just laid there. Didn't yelp, whine or bark. We even put him in another room and turned off the light..not a sound from him. It's like he lost all confidence and personality. We left him in the crate for a bit while he napped then we took him outside. I tried playing with him for a bit, but his heart wasn't in it. I gave him a piece of rawhide, then tried playing with him again. He seemed to be snapping out of it by bedtime, but I'm still worried. More about his eye than about his personality. I can work with him on getting his confidence back..but once he's blind, that's it.

I am worried that his run in with Faith with either make him afraid of other dogs or aggressive towards other dogs. I'm not angry with her..she was just claiming her food and putting him in his place. She didn't mean to hurt him and even came over to check on him when he went crying to Jeff. She acted genuinely upset that he was upset. He cowered in Jeff's lap for awhile. He had been showing some dominance and needed to be taken down a peg or two..but not like this. Jeff and I don't have children. That's a road we've been down for years and we always come back empty handed, so our animals are our children. As a parent, you try to protect them and prevent anything bad from happening to them. You don't want them to have any bad experiences that will scar them. You don't want them to know pain. I know you can't stop the world and can't prevent life from happening, but I still feel like I failed somehow. I didn't protect him. I was in bed when it happened. Jeff fed them and went back to work but he couldn't have prevented it any more than I could. No one's to blame..so why do I feel bad. Feel guilty? I'll call the vet today and set up an appointment to have his eye checked. Jeff will have to go because I have to work..but I hope he's ok.

I also did some research into Chiweenie's. The vet says there's another breed in there somewhere..that he had certain features that didn't fit chihuahua or dachshund. So, I ended up finding a picture of a Feist...and it fits. Almost exactly. Coloring, legs, feet, build, everything suits him. I'm sure he's still a mix..but that's the breed that we were missing. The eyes are chihuahua for sure..and he's long like a dachshund, but the rest is feist for sure. Jeff wants to have a blood DNA test done later on to determine his heritage, and while it would be interesting to know..it's not a great use of our money. We have other pressing matters. So, anyhow..that's my update for now. The sun is coming up which means it's time for bed. Yawn. If you pray, please pray for Milo and both his eyes. Pray that his good eye is ok and he'll keep his vision. Also pray that his eye surgery goes well in a few weeks. Thanks!

I'm late? Oh, I must be on Summer time!

The post from 6/30/11 that wouldn't post.

So much has happened since my last post! I've been to Switzerland and France, got a new puppy and had a LOT of training at work. Since so much has happened, I'll do my best do keep this a summary and then do detailed posts on everything another time.

First: Switzerland. It was amazing. The food is almost always a mixture of meat, potatoes and cheese in some form. My wine glass was rarely empty and my camera was always on. The air smelled of flowers, food or cows depending on where you were. They had self-cleaning toilets, took their dogs EVERYWHERE and it was remarkably clean. No litter or trash anywhere. We walked a LOT and visited Luzern, Schilthorn in the Alps, Interlaken, Lake Thun, Murren, Pilatus and stayed in Basel. The Marketplatz was very neat there. Because it sits in the corner of Switzerland that borders France and Germany, you'd be in one store where they spoke German and then go next door and they'd speak French.

Their version of Wal-mart had the best cart system ever. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who're too lazy to put their cart back and just leave it in a parking space. There, you have to pay to use a cart..and when you put it back, you get your money back. Brilliant! We also went to a futbol game between Basel and Thun where Basel won 5-0. Lucien and his girlfriend Katka were very accommodating and generous. They tended to our every want or need! I'd love to go back! One week just isn't long enough!

Since returning from Switzerland, I've had 48 hours of training at work for in-service. Half was online, the other was 3 days of class. Before Switzerland, we had another 12 hours of training through FEMA. I tell you, I'm trained out. Shew! It's so hard to take the online classes when you're at work and trying to do them between your other job duties. You keep getting interrupted. Eh, ok..that's enough about that.

Two and a half weeks ago, I happened to be looking on the Nash County Animal Friends (NCAF) Facebook page and re-posting the available pets for adoption. I've been doing a lot of that lately because there are so many who need homes. I had no intentions of getting another pet since we already have 7, but there he was..this cute little 3 month old chihuahua/dachshund mix with an injured eye. Nash County is a very high kill shelter because they're so small...and they use a gas chamber. They called him Pete and I knew by looking at his picture that his eye was going to need to come out. I thought, who's going to adopt a one eyed chiweenie pup?? No one will want the expense of having the eye removed and he was just too cute to risk letting him die. So, I kept watching for new posts about him since he wasn't going to be available for adoption for 72 hours. I contemplated my options and decided I was going to go save him. I got off work at 6am, got up at 10:30, left by 11 to be there by 1..which is when they opened. He wouldn't be available until 1:30..so I took the time to play with him. He's only 6 lbs and was basically bouncing off the walls. My actual plan was to be an independent foster and find him a home.

As luck would have it, another couple showed up interested in taking him, so I told them to go ahead and take him since I already had 7 animals. They changed their mind, even when I agreed to pay the adoption fee. Their thinking was that if I took Pete..they could save another one..but they left empty handed. Maybe they got one from another shelter. So, I scooped him up and brought him home. Jeff, who "hates" little dogs just loves him! We renamed him Milo and took him to the vet who referred us to an eye specialist. After seeing the specialist, it was determined that Milo has a detached retina which caused secondary glaucoma..so yeah, the eye has to come out... preferably before it becomes painful but after his skull has developed more to reduce deformity of it. They have no way of determining if it was an injury or if he was born with it. Both chihuahuas and dachshunds have a history of retinal dysplasia, but the good news is that his other eye is perfectly normal.

We've had him for 2 weeks and he's a cuddly little love bug. Potty training has been difficult, but he learned to sit within 15 minutes and hadn't even been home for an hour, so I think he belonged to someone and had wandered off. He did hike his leg and pee on my foot..twice. Today he also got so excited over dinner that when I told him to sit, he started peeing. It shot out in a stream across the floor from between his front 2 legs. I couldn't help but laugh! I'm still working on stay, come, heel, go potty and out. His eye drops every night are a pain in the butt though. I thought I could sneak up on the blind eye, but he can still see light/dark. I've tried different strategies. Some nights holding him down works, other nights I have to wait until he falls asleep and then open that eye and drop it in before he knows what happened. He never tries to bite though..he just wriggles around and I'm afraid of poking him in the eye.

The other dogs don't know what to think. I still don't trust Jazz to be left alone with him since she's been so snarly. Patches lets him climb all over her and she tries to play, but she just can't keep up. Despite my best intentions of trying to re-home him..I think we're going to keep him. He's well socialized, travels well, energetic but mellow and was a dream with the eye dr. and the vet. Jeff has this idea of taking him around on his motorcycle with him. A one eyed chiweenie on a motorcycle. Oh..yeah..Jeff got a motorcycle several weeks ago after taking a class for his license. He looks great on it!

Anyway, Milo is curled up in my lap sleeping as I type this and also despite my great attempts to keep him in a crate at night, it didn't work..he cried for HOURS. It's not like I gave up too easily..but 4 hours of crying when I had to get sleep was too much. I got up thinking he needed to go outside, but he cried for 2 more hours, so I let him in bed where he burrowed under the sheets and curled up by my feet. Since then, no issues. He runs through the yard with the other dogs, fetches and gallops through the house. The cats are warming up to him..but they're bigger than he is and have smacked him a few times. I do have a fear they'll scratch his good eye and blind him completely. I don't know that I have it in me to be a seeing eye person. I'm trying to schedule his eye removal and neuter the week we'll be in Fontana. That way, he can be boarded through his recovery and watched after. Jeff wants to take him with us, but since we're sharing a cabin with another couple, I think it would be rude. Plus, I go on vacation to get away from responsibility and he'd be in my lap in a Miata for 7 hours. It would be a great chance to socialize him more though. Eh, we'll see. We still have a few weeks to decide. Besides, I need to find a vet willing to do both surgeries and board that week.

Well, I think that's all the updates for now. I'll get into more detail about Switzerland later. There's just too much to write about to try to smoosh all this into one blog!

Vet Ventilation

The quickest definition of ventilation is movement of air in and out of an enclosed space. Circulating it, purifying it..replacing toxic air with clean air. Sometimes that's just what has to be done to clear your system and the purpose of this blog. Last Friday, I had to take 2 of my dogs to the vet for their Rabies vaccines so we could board them. Jazz had only been once before and didn't have a good experience, so I knew we'd have some struggles again. Patches has been going there for 7 years, so I didn't think it'd be a big issue. I was so wrong and the experience I had has me wanting to switch vets.

I took Jazz in first while leaving Patches in the car. I told them they couldn't take her from me without some rebellion on her part, so they weighed her and brought her back in the room for the rest of the work. They asked me to put a muzzle on her and I obliged b/c she doesn't like strangers..especially when they're poking her with stuff. I had my arm around her neck and was petting her head while the vet tech prepared to take her temp. Jazz is very sensitive about her butt anyway and doesn't even want her tail touched, so temperature is a huge issue anyway. The tech didn't tell me she was ready and when she put the thermometer in, Jazz sat down and bucked her head up, slamming me in the jaw and nose. The tech doing the temp goes, "Well..we'll just make a note in her file not to do her temp unless she's really sick." I told her I just wasn't ready and wasn't holding her tight enough and to go ahead and try again. I put my leg up under Jazz's belly to keep her from sitting down and held her head against my shoulder and told the tech to go ahead...and she just stared at me like, "You want me to do what??" So, I said, "If you're going to do it, do it now." She was just very tentative and I kept thinking.."Good Lord! Just do it already!!" So..she finally got her temp..no problem.

Ok..next step was drawing her blood for a heartworm check and the tech chose to do her back leg...I don't know if that's standard or if she was afraid of being near her head..even though she was muzzled. The first try was an epic fail. So was the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th try. All the same needle...she'd stick it in, not get anything, pull back a little and stick it back in. AT this point, Jazz is getting angry and starting to shake with fear while trying to get free. She turns her head and looks at the vet tech with a look that clearly says, "If I didn't have this muzzle on, you'd be lunch meat right now." So, I asked her if the other vet tech could try and she said that Jazz just had shallow veins. Ok..well is there someone with more experience that could hit a shallow vein? She tried the other leg and Jazz gave me that, "Oh Mama please help me" look and I felt so bad for her. Attempt number 5 failed. So did #6. Finally..with needle # 2 and attempt 7, they got enough blood to run the test. I got to take her muzzle off...but not before they backed up to the farthest side of the room as if she was a raging bull. All she did was wag her tail, hide behind me and press against my leg. It just angered me that they treated her that way.

Then the vet herself came in..made me remuzzle her, gave her her rabies shot, checked a few things, said she was a good weight, had a negative heartworm test, had good joints, etc..and then said that b/c of the difficulty in getting her temp. and blood, they may have to start sedating her to get it. Um..NO. I asked for sedatives in order to trim her claws and they refused..so if they're not going to do it for that..they're not doing it at all. They still got her temp and blood..but who said anything in life was supposed to be easy?? Jazz was fine..but they were so afraid of her that she was feeding off of their fear. I was just so frustrated with them for being pansies. I'm not saying they should've been aggressive and force Jazz into a corner or anything..but at least show some compassion for the dog's fear and some persistance. If they're that afraid of being bit, they're in the wrong job.

Anyway, after taking her muzzle off, the Dr. gave her a cookie and Jazz was so gentle in taking it out of her hand that it made me that much more upset that they treated her like some crazed wild dog. I know the muzzle was for protection..and I was ok w/ that b/c if Jazz doesn't like something, she'll put her teeth on you to let you know..but doesn't bite. I would not however, want to take that chance w/ strangers. Jazz is very sweet and gentle and wants so much to be loved on and part of what you're doing that she gets so excited and rambunctious at the thought of you playing with her. She's just very high spirited and can scare some people b/c she likes to jump. Ok..so that's the end of Jazz's story. On to Patches.

I took Jazz out, brought Patches in and the 2 vet tech's walked in the room and started to approach Patches. It seemed all good b/c she was wagging, but as soon as they got close to her, she barked and backed up...and they jumped back as if she'd already bitten them. They took her to be weighed, took her temp, etc..and then I heard some huffing, puffing and little dog feet scrambling. They'd muzzled her. She's almost 9 and has NEVER been muzzled..and they were getting snippy w/ her b/c she was fighting them. She was clawing at her face, huffing, tongue hanging out through her teeth, drooling and the most horrible look of fear in her eyes I've ever seen. Rage started bubbling up inside me and it apparently showed on my face b/c the vet tech goes, "She got a little snarly when we tried to draw her blood." Ok..I understand, but it didn't make me any less angry to see my girl like that.

They did a quick exam and while the vet was listening to her heart, she reached up and clamped Patches mouth closed b/c she was huffing and breathing so heavily. I know it was to hear her heart better, but it just freaked Patches out more. As soon as the vet let go, she started shaking her head back and forth and pawing at the muzzle...and both the vet tech's and vet backed up..1 actually left the room. She's muzzled you morons!! What's she going to do?? After Patches calmed a little bit, they let me take the muzzle off and she just sat there..totally fine. It probably didn't help that they called her fat..maybe Patches is sensitive. =) I know she needs to lose about 23 lbs, but we had her thyroid tested and should get the results back in a few weeks. The vet said Cushing's Disease could explain her weight too..so we'll probably have to have her tested for that too.

It was just an upsetting vet trip. The vet tech's were too timid and scared...which only scared my dogs when they were already on alert. They weren't very friendly and I can't say they were inexperienced..b/c I've seen them there for a few years now. I know they mean well..but I just wasn't happy with the way my dogs were treated and they completely freak out when I pull into the parking lot there...so I think it's time for a change. Patches did fine when we took her to a different vet for a ruptured tick cyst and our vet was closed. Granted...Jeff was with her and she's his dog. She doesn't trust me like she does him. She loves me...but she's a daddy's girl, no doubt. I'm considering going to a mobile vet who will come out and charge me a $50 house visit and treat all my animals. I had Patches and Jazz's appt at the same time and they charged me $30 a piece for an office visit. I paid out almost $300 for that one visit. Insane! Anyhow..I just wanted to vent a little on my bad experience and get it off my chest. I felt bad for my girls so when we got home, they each got a yummy doggie mini-bagel from the Bone Appetit Pet Bakery in Myrtle Beach. They love that place and despite a horrible day, they had a great weekend with Terri!!

Sickening, revolting and deplorable!!

I just happened to find a girl on Twitter who posted a link to this petition. It's about 2 men in Australia who killed a 7 month old puppy. I wish that's all they'd done, but it's not. They're trying to get the maximum penalty for animal cruelty..which is a puny 2 years, but I hope in signing the petitions that can be changed. As an animal lover, I'm upset when an animal is hurt..even by accident. I was sickened by what these men did and had to step out of work for a few minutes to let the tears dry. I'll give a quick summary of what they did but want to warn you if you haven't read it that it's extremely disturbing and could cause nightmares. Yes, it is that horrible. You can also join the Facebook group here or check out http://www.peanutslaw.com/ to see the full list of petitions, offer support and see more information.

If these men were in front of me right now...and vigilante justice were legal...I'd be on them so fast they wouldn't know what hit them. Like if Edward Scissorhands could spin like the Tasmanian Devil. Just a whirl of anger and blades. I wouldn't kill them...because that would be too kind. So, that being said...and having given you a warning...here's a recap of what they did.

They stole a 7 month old puppy from a house and then tortured and mutilated him with garden shears and a pocket knife. They cut off his nose, his legs, and sliced his stomach open before decapitating him....all while videotaping it with a mobile phone. Even seasoned senior police officers who have seen plenty of carnage in their careers were shaken by this. The videos won't be released until after the trial, but they said the poor puppy was yelping and howling in pain and even tried to escape on what was left of his legs. Who would even want to watch the video?!?! It's hard enough reading about it. They then just dumped the body on the side of the road. I can't even imagine the pain the owners are going through..and even that's just a shadow of what that poor puppy felt.

I'm convinced these men are not human. They're evil, pure and simple. They say all serial killers started with animals. The rest of society isn't safe from these men if a poor defenseless puppy wasn't either. The real kicker in this whole thing is that they're trying to plead INSANITY. I have no doubt that they're beyond any help the system could offer them..but it's no excuse to get away with this atrocious crime. I'm just completely taken aback by all of this. I even prayed that Peanut is in heaven with no memory of what was done to him...or at least no memory of the pain. Sigh..my heart just aches for that poor puppy. I love my animals and feel bad if I even step on their tail by accident. Reading this makes me want to just rush home and hug all my animals. Anyway, please consider signing the petitions in order to give these men the maximum sentence and to help make the maximum sentence longer than 2 years.

2 dogs, 2,000 miles

If you've ever lost an animal to cancer, this is something you'll want to read about. I discovered this website after I got a friend request through Flickr from a man named Luke Robinson who'd lost his Great Pyrenees Malcolm to metastatic bone cancer. As I had posted many pictures of Jack on my Flickr page and wrote about the devastation of cancer to his sweet face, he found me and let me know about his cause. Luke is walking from Austin to Boston with his 2 other Pyrenees Hudson and Murphy to help raise money and awareness for canine cancer research. There's many cancer foundations working to find cures, but he wants everyone to find out what's causing it to prevent it from happening to begin with. To quote part of his site, http://www.2dogs2000miles.org/ :

"The funds raised from the walk will finance the first ever nationwide epidemiological canine cancer study which will be managed by our partner, the Animal Cancer Foundation. Scientists have discovered that the vast majority of cancers found in pets are the same types in humans, which make the dog an ideal model for research. Not only will pets benefit from this study but people, too.There is another reason, too. By using dogs with pre-existing cancer for studies, it reduces our dependency on lab animals."

I added my sweet Jack to his memorial wall so that people will know how heartbreaking it is to watch an innocent pet and family member go through all this. There are so many on the wall and we need to stop it's growth. Luke's cause is noble, heartwarming, inspiring and an exemplary display of compassion. For those who don't know, I lost Jack, my border collie/black lab mix in Sept. of 2007 to squamous cell carcinoma which is a type of skin cancer. It started as a small growth on his lip which went away and then reappeared. It went away again with antibiotics, only to return months later and grow out of hand. Since it had gone away with medicine before, we tried again..several different kinds and it didn't work, it only grew larger. We had a biopsy done and got the results back way too late. The cancer was very aggressive and what started as a small bump on his inner lip soon took over his entire upper lip, soft pallate and was moving down his throat..all in a month's time. By the end, he was almost unrecognizable as his face was swollen and he went blind because of it. He could barely breathe and could no longer eat hard food. The easiest way to describe the growth is that it was red, cauliflower like, raised and ulcerated. If he'd bump it even slightly, it would bleed.

We kept hoping that the biopsy would find something like a fungal infection that could be cured, but it just wasn't to be. We found out on a Thursday that it was cancer and had him put to sleep the next morning. He was miserable. We spent his last night in the floor with him scratching him behind the ears like he likes and rubbing his belly until he fell asleep. Several times he quit breathing and I had to move him to a position where it was easier to get air. The last few hours of his life were spent outside on a beautiful sunny September morning rolling in the grass. We got to hear his bark one last time as the vet pulled into our driveway. He laid in the grass for a belly rub and thumped his tail in happiness for all the attention and then moments later, he was gone.

Sometimes I think I'll never recover from the devastation and unfairness of it all, but all I can do is live my life the best way I know how and use what Jack taught me. He taught me that sometimes, a hug is all you need to feel better. He taught me that no matter what, a good back scratch always feels good and is always needed. He taught me that you don't have to say anything to be there for someone...your presence is enough. He also taught me the meaning of unconditional love and the importance of listening. He was a great listener and gave me the most knowing looks. Of all my dogs, his presence brought me the most comfort and I will always miss him. I think of him daily.

I don't think I could bear to watch another of my animals go through something like this and that's why I think it's so great that Luke is doing something like this for all our furry family members. Please check out his website and consider making a contribution to his cause and help discover why so many animals are getting cancer.

Miss Patches Prissy Paws

I just love my dogs..let me tell you why. Yesterday as I was eating a bowl of cereal before coming to work, Jeff was in the floor playing with Patches..our border collie. He put his hand up to her face and says, "I'm going to get your nose!"...and she ducks her head and hides it under his leg. ?? Hmm..ok..probably just coincidental...so he says it again, and she hides her nose in his arm pit. Um...ok..maybe she was just smelling Jazz who was behind him. One more time.."I'm going to get your nose!"...and she covers her nose with her paw. Ho-ly crap. We have no idea where she learned that b/c Jeff doesn't say that as a habit. He's said it to her a few times in the past, but not enough for her to pick up on it...or so we thought.

He stands up and she comes to check out my empty cereal bowl and he says it to her again...and she runs behind my chair to hide. The next time he said it..she hid behind me and gave me this look like.."Please..don't let him get my nose!! I'm too cute!"...so we rewarded her with a cookie so she knows that we're not really going to get her nose..but I was just completely amazed.
She's done a couple of other things in the past that were quite amazing too. She figured out how to operate the ice maker on the front of our freezer. I'd come home to puddles of water in the floor and couldn't figure out where they came from...until I was in the office and all was quiet and I heard small thuds in the kitchen. I snuck around the corner and see Miss Patches Prissy Paws (her full name) pushing the ice release button with her paw. Ah ha...mystery solved. This continued until I accidently left the fridge on the 'water' setting and it sprayed her in the face. Oops.

The other time I was completely amazed was when my parents came down to visit. We were watching Mighty Joe Young on tv...the gorilla movie for those who don't know and Patches came in to check out the action...wait.. I should probably tell you about their toy bin first though. We have a huge basket that's about the size of a half barrel filled with all their toys. They'll go visit it and pull out what they want whenever they want. If I could train them to put them back..I'd really be on to something.

Anyhow, Patches glances at the tv, cocks her head to one side then trots over to her toy bin. She starts rooting around in the piles of bodies, tossing them over the sides haphazardly until she gets to the bottom and pulls out what she's seeking. She starts shaking it back and forth and then drops it in my mom's lap. I glance at it and it's nothing other than...wait for it...wait for it...still waiting..wait for it..... a stuffed shrieking gorilla. I'll be damned. Just seeing the one on tv reminded her that she had one too.

That gorilla had been buried in the bottom of the bin for MONTHS..mostly because it does shriek and hearing it at 3am sucks. Plus..she tore it's butt out and left the fuzzy white innards laying all over the living room. Unfortunately this was not enough to kill it's shrieker...it just busted it so that it shrieked in a continuous loop until you stomped the crap out of it....or it would start shrieking on it's own with no one around it. I know..my fault for buying the damned thing..but it was cute.

She's also waited for us to vacate the dinner table and instead of being like a regular dog who would just put their paws on the table to steal scraps off the plate, she jumped up in the chair and was sitting there perfectly poised licking the plate clean...like she belonged there. When she got caught she gave us this look like.."What? You didn't put it on the floor, how else was I going to get it?"

Patches is probably too smart for us. Her and the cats work together to steal food off the counters. I'm sure she's the brains behind the whole operation. Anyhow..I was just proud of my girly for basically teaching herself a trick. She provides hours of endless entertainment and love and I just wanted to share my amazing dog story with everyone!

The Aftermath.

It's been 2 days, 13 hours and 34 minutes since Jack's been gone and I still feel very heavy hearted. Truth be told, my heart literally ached Friday night and I was sick to my stomach for most of the weekend. I've never cried that much in my life. The house is still very somber and the dogs are mourning Jack's absence, especially Patches. She goes out in the yard and lays down where Jack passed on and will sniff the places where he last laid in the grass that morning. Once, she even followed the scent where Jeff carried Jack's body over to the Dr's Jeep. She looked so forlorn when she lost his scent. She's not eating and just lies around the house. I know we each have to make peace with this in our own time, in our own way, but I wish for her that it could be easier.

I kept blaming myself for Jack, but after doing some research on Squamous Cell Carcinoma, I realized there really wasn't anything I could have done. In humans, it's the 2nd most common type of skin cancer. In dogs, it's highly misdiagnosed and mistreated. It's aggressive, non-metastasized and usually invades the nasal passages, mouth, and sinuses of dogs. It's appearance is described as red, cauliflower, raised and ulcerated. Radiation has had the best results, but it must be caught very early and there's still no guarantee. I also read that the body's immune system can successfully rid the body of the cancer for a period..which may explain why it came and went for more than a year.

Out of 9 cases of SCC, the one to live longest was 18 months..and that was after several rounds of chemo plus surgery. I'm grateful Jack lasted the same amount of time and was strong and brave enough to fight it off for as long as he did. We could've spent thousands and thousands trying to save him, but I haven't found one documented case where treatment saved a dog with SCC...it eventually just took over in every case. I wish I'd paid more attention and had recognized what it was when we first saw it. It was smooth, red, hard and just under the inside of his lip. We just happened to notice it while he was lying on his back for a belly rub and his mouth was open. Maybe I could've given him a year or two longer. Anyway..

Friday, we let each of the dogs say their goodbyes before the vet came but we left Patches outside so she could also be by his side when he made his journey to the Rainbow Bridge. However, when the vet came, she snarled and barked, I think because she knew what they were there to do and she was trying to protect and save Jack. I had to take her inside and instead, she watched from the window. That night, Jeff and I both wanted to get out of the house. I was weepy all day and just the sight of one of his tufts of fur under a chair, or looking at the place in the yard where he left us had me bawling all over again. The only place you can go late at night is Wal-mart, so we made our way to Sanford to see the new bigger 24 hr. Wal-mart they'd just opened. It was a small reprieve from the gloominess in our house, but I wept most of the way there and some of the way home.

Saturday, we felt that it may do Patches some good to get out of the house also, so we loaded our remaining 3 dogs up in the car and took them up to New Hill to walk on the American Tobacco Trail. We walked 4 miles total and they were pretty well worn out by the time we made it home. Patches was doing better while we were out, but as soon as we returned home, she recommenced her moping. I'm sure she can still smell him in the house, but maybe her mourning will ease some after his scent fades.

There's so many things about Jack I'll miss. The wild stray pieces of fur that stood straight up on his head. The little tufts of fur on his toes that he refused to let us trim. The way he'd have to push all his food down so it was a completely flat surface before he'd eat it. His own little Snoopy dance when we came home..he'd wiggle and bounce around in a circle then run off to grab a toy or sock and then bounce in circles again. The way he'd bite his upper lip and lower his head when he was embarrassed about something..usually either b/c he farted or b/c he'd just been shaved for the summer. The way he'd sit his back end in the back seat of the car with his front end standing on the hump. The way he'd only put his front half up in your lap on the couch while still standing on the floor. Or how he'd lay just under your feet where ever you were sitting..so he could still get rubbed when you rocked the chair. How you'd throw him a treat and you could hear his teeth clack together..and even if he missed it..he'd still sound like he was gobbling it up or snorting like he really was inhaling it. I'll miss how he couldn't just curl up next to you..he had to be ON you. The sound of his bark and the drool on the outside of my car windows b/c he had his head hanging out the whole trip.

I'll also miss the way he smells. Friday before the vet came, I buried my face in his fur and took a gigantic breath so I'd always remember how he smelled. Like people, each animal has their own unique scent..and I want to remember his. He came a long way in the 6 years we had him. He went from being timid, scared of his own shadow and not knowing how to play to being goofy, bouncy, and all smiles. He even had a smile on his face at the end. I'd like to imagine that he went to sleep in Jeff's arms with our voices in his ears telling him how wonderful he was, that we'd see him again one day and that we loved him...then awoke in a huge meadow under a shade tree by a babbling brook where he'll play with other dogs under the sun and wait for Jeff and I to come get him. I truly don't know how long it'll take me to get over this, but I'll always think of him when I have french fries or am making a peanut butter sandwich. I know he's better now and happy. I just wish I felt the same.